Yo, you Rue's friend, right?
Yeah, since preschool. Sorry, I don't know why I said that.
Nah, you good. You met where you met. Yo, what was your name again?
Lexi.
Lexi... I like that. That's a nice name.
Thanks.
So did you, like, have a good Christmas, or are you Jewish or somethin'?
Yeah, well, my mom's Jewish, but she always says, "If the Christians can steal Christmas from the pagans, then the Jews can also."
You say the Christians stole Christmas?
Well, in order to convert the Germanic pagans who, like, celebrated winter solstice and stuff, the Christians were like, "Fuck it. Let's just say Jesus was born this day, and you can hang tinsel and stuff."
How you just go and change the man's birthday?
Well, in the same way King James was rewriting the Bible on one side of the castle, and had witches trying to turn his pee into gold on the other.
Yo, how the fuck do you know all this?
I don't know, by reading.
Do you, like, not believe in God? [Lexi shakes her head] Damn, Lexi... You fuckin' fearless.
Thanks. Do you believe in God?
Hell yeah, I believe in God.
Like, there's a man sitting in the clouds... judging all of your actions and stuff?
Hell yeah.
Can I ask you a personal question?
What's up?
How do you justify dealing drugs, then?
Well, I mean, my Uncle Carl got diabetes from eatin' too much McDonald's. You don't see nobody goin' after they ass.
Yeah, but if I were God, I don't know if I'd let McDonald's CEO in Heaven. I'd be like, "Fuck that guy."
Yeah, that's a good point. I have to get back to you on that one.
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