[after Cyborg is having a bad day, locked out of his own mind, Jane presses her finger against his chest circle] Hey Siri, what is the Doom Patrol?
All S1
S1 E15Unfinished Business
(to Steve) A long time ago, you taught me I was my own biggest obstacle. That I could decide who I wanted to be. For the last 60 years, I decided that Rita Farr was someone who deserved to be punished. I haven’t changed my mind about that. Rita Farr is…empty and ugly. And small. And I don’t want to be those things anymore. I don’t want to be Rita Farr anymore. Without her, I don’t know who I am. All I know is… I don’t want to end up like you. Or Arani, or Rhea. And who knows… Maybe if I… Stop trying to forget things that haunt me, and actually face them, maybe Mr. Nobody won’t hold so much power over me. I owe you for that. And I forgive you.
I was a belly dancer, an SEO spy, the queen of Muscle Beach. I used to be Rita Farr, star of stage and screen. Now I don't know who I am.
NCNiles Caulder
And then, in a single moment, I realized I understood absolutely nothing at all.
EFErnest Franklin
Facial hair connects me to the secrets of the universe. It's the ultimate flavor savor. All the memories, secrets, sandwiches - a man's beard witnesses all things. And only I can decode the language.
After thirteen pointless, meandering episodes of character-driven schlock, we can finally get to the show that everyone wanted to see in the first place... a superhero show! Right versus wrong... good versus evil... hero... versus villain... that's me!
What's a street doing in the middle of nowhere?
I'm sure they have a logical explanation.
They?
Danny. Did I never mention a sentient, teleporting, gender-queer, street Vic and I hung out on when Jane lost her shit and tried to get married?
FMFlex Mentallo
[Flex is preparing to use his flexing powers to send the Doom Patrol into the White Space] Alright, everybody focus! I need you to focus on the White Space.
[Flex holds up an open comic book and flexes his muscles]
Anybody? Anything?
I... I feel... s-something.
Me too.
Yeah...
[Cliff is unable to feel because of his robot body] Is there something that I should be feeling right now?
It's like... oh? OH!
Oh my...! Huh!
[Cliff looks around and sees people in the street acting strangely] What the fuck is going on?
We're all reaching... .!
Oh... oh!
We're fucking cumming man! [Everyone including the Doom Patrol but except for Flex and Cliff begin to simultaneously orgasm] Shit!
Oh oh!
Oh! Oh! Ohhhhh!
FMFlex Mentallo
[Flex realizes what's happening] I think I flexed the wrong muscle.
No shit dummy! [Cliff realizes that he is unable to orgasm because of his robot body and begins to fake an orgasm] Oh, err... oh oh, oh yeah!
[Crazy Jane looks at Flex] I'm gonna fucking kill you! Oh fuck!
[Everyone except for Flex and Cliff simultaneously orgasm]
FMFlex Mentallo
I am so, so, so, so sorry. I was shooting for the splenius capitis, and I accidentally flexed the splenius cervicus. You did the right thing...
Just give us a moment!
Please.
FMFlex Mentallo
Take as much time as you need... I... I'm stupid...
ECEzekiel the Cockroach
I am becoming God! Destroyer of worlds!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Doom Patrol pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.