“Mathew Pryderi Pritchard” quotes from Dirty Sanchez

(About his mother) "She's 55, she must have taken it up the backdoor once upon a time!"

"That shuddered my brain!"

(While cooking a pube pizza for Dan) "All the time I was a chef, I never prepared anything like this..."

"I can't stand being serious, that's my problem"

(In an interview about his girlfriend) "Ohh, this is where the lovey dovey bit comes in!"

(While Dainton is teasing him about a spider) "It could be on your cock, it could be in your hair, it could be in your gob, I don't want to touch it!"

(Talking about nakedness) "Ohh, look at his winky, thats a bit small!"

(Having an earring torn out) "If I get hit by a car or a bus, it's gonna hurt more than an earlobe, so fucking rip my ear out!"

(Having his health asessed) "Look at that belly! You can tell I've had a good life since the first show!"

"Some of the things I've done over the years are absolutely stupidly...well just absolutely stupid!"

(About Pancho) "I like to think I could trust Panch with my life, but he's so clumsy and uncoordinated, he'd just fuck it up."

(While choosing some jeans) "Got to flash your ass for the cowgirls!"

(About a football boot) "That is literally going RIGHT into my arse."

(When asked to make a wish) "Can I bum Daint tonight?"

(After Dainton hits him) "Yep. Right in the fucking eardrum. Lovely."