“Practically Perfect” quotes from Dexter

Dexter

[voiceover] No church bells. No Hallelujah chorus. Nothing feels different. If anything, I'm emptier.

Who are you?

Dexter

Just a fellow traveler who also likes to pick up dead animals.

Masuka

Damn. Don't people just shoot each other any more?

Masuka

This man is a knight in shining armor. You should be polishing his lance. [awkward pause] I meant that metaphorically - not how it sounded.

Dexter

I'm just not used to checking the fridge for notes. [voiceover]... just notes from other serial killers.

Debra

I'm just trying to get the truth. However long that takes is up to you.

I'm telling you the truth. I'm not lying.

Debra

First you said you didn't do drugs, and then you said you did.

I said I might have tried some at a Tri Delt party once.

Debra

You might have? What the fuck does that even mean? You did or you didn't. You can't kind of do blow.

But that was six years ago in college.

Debra

And I'm supposed to believe you're not on anything now?

I'm totally clean.

Debra

Then why are you so nervous?

Because I wasn't expecting on getting these kind of questions. I mean, you sound like a cop.

Debra

I am a cop. I work for Miami Metro Homicide.

Look, I don't know what's going on here. I came for a nanny job. I'm not like, planning to kill the president.

Dexter

[Voiceover: Harrison needs a nanny and Deb insisted on running point. The way it's going, only Mary Poppins would make the cut.]

Dexter

You didn't answer your cell.

Well, I had my hands full. Oh, I left a note on the fridge. Oh, I didn't mean to worry you.

Dexter

No, it's fine. I'm just... I'm not used to checking the fridge for notes. [Voiceover: Just messages from other serial killers.]

Debra

When you lose someone close, routine can be a ladder that can help you climb back into some kind of normalcy.

Dexter

Where'd you hear that?

Debra

I am capable of independent thought, Dexter. Oprah.

Let me the fuck out of here.

Dexter

I bet you've heard that before, "let me out of here", from all the women you've killed. I wish you could see the room I set up for you. But you fucked everything up, Boyd. All those pictures I took of the woman you killed - it's a shame you'll never get to see them. I'll just have to paint a word-picture for you instead. They were young, just starting their lives... Now they're floating in formaldehyde and stuffed into barrels strewn around a swamp.

Who the hell are you?

Dexter

Just a fellow traveler, who also likes to pick up dead animals.

I did them a favor. They were all suffering and I put them out of their misery.

Dexter

Yeah, you'll be doing one more favor tonight.

What are you talking about?

Dexter

I've recently suffered a loss. My wife...was murdered by someone like you. Someone like me... It turned my life upside down.

Why is that my problem?

Dexter

Because you're the start of my healing process.

I knew you were fucked up the minute I laid eyes on you.

Dexter

I was fucked up long before that.