Death in Paradise · Season 1
Oh, come...! You can't put me in here!
Why? You want to go in there?
[He indicates the other holding cell, which is occupied by a goat. Marlon sighs and sits down in the first cell.]
[laughs] Maybe you should stop stealing yachts.
[on the phone with his superior in London] No, no, it's terrible. The airline have lost my luggage, it's about 400 degrees in the shade, and they've put me up in some kind of... shack.
Sainte-Marie was colonized by the French, who lost it to the British, who lost it to the Dutch. The Dutch lost it back to the French. The French then handed it back to the British in the mid 70's. So, about 30 percent of the population is still French.
French. Great. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse.
Look, don't get me wrong, I'm sure the Caribbean's great, beach holidays and snorkeling, but I can't work here, let alone live here. I don't know if anyone has noticed, but there's a tree growing through my front room!
[showing his badge] I am a police officer, and I want a cup of tea!
I am a detective sergeant in the Sainte-Marie Police Force. I graduated top of my year. I have three commendations for bravery. I have been shot twice and I could almost certainly beat you in a fist fight. Whereas you, you are a rude man! You are ignorant, full of your own self-importance, expecting everyone to follow you around and hang on your every word? From now on, you treat me with a little more respect, or I'll be forced to forget I'm a police officer. Okay?
All right, that's enough. No one is to mention this prophecy again! We're detectives. We deal in physical evidence and forensic science. We do not stick pins into dolls and dance naked around the campfire!
Now that I'd like to see.
Yeah, well, it's not going to happen.
Voodoo has been part of this island for hundreds of years.
So have cholera and TB and the French, and we managed to get rid of them in the end.
I am half French!
There's no such thing as half French!
Nicholas Dunham is a killer.
You can't possibly know that.
Intuition.
Oh, great. Why don't we just go the whole hog, you know? I'll take my clothes off, you light the fire.
[a passer-by gives Camille a funny look]
[hastily] He's English!
[to Father Charles Dean, after Poole exposes him as the murderer] I told you she'd never leave me for you.
[about Richard's new rowboat, christened the "Roast Beef"] Well, are you going to give her a test?
What, out there on the sea?
[sarcastic] No, no, on the road.
So we got a man murdered in broad daylight while handcuffed to a police officer, just over a thousand suspects, and it's a hundred degrees. Marvellous!
No sign of Solly having fired the gun.
Correct.
I knew it. Well, I suspected it. (Gives Camille the paper) So we can definitely rule out suicide. Solly's death was murder. I think we should-- (Screams at something on his chair)
(laughs as Richard pulls a toy snake off his chair) Oh, wow! Very immature. I'll have words with whoever did that!
There's only you and me here.
Well, I'm sorry, sir. You were saying...
Ask Curtis about his snake. (Throws the toy snake at Camille, who dodges to the side) And why it ended up in my bungalow.
You can make an official complaint if you wish.
To whom?
The Police Commissioner.
...That's you, isn't it?
(smugly) Mmm-hmm.
Well, imagine you're taking a midnight swim and I decide to drown you. What do you do?
[He puts his hands on Camille's shoulders. She grabs his arm and twists it behind his back.]
[screams in pain, then calms down] Okay, let me rephrase that. You're not a trained police officer.
I'm not?
No, you're a depressed woman... [straining] with no apparent aptitude for self-defence!
Oh. Okay, all right. [releases him]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Death in Paradise pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
