Dead Ringers quotes

We can't use the rivers as they have been infested by the plague.

We must bathe with the women slaves ... it will heighten the men's spirits before going into battle.

Mick? I will call you Mickus

We must protect ourselves ... from the Visigoths, and the Huns, and the Barbarian Horde.

Hello, welcome to Fame Academy. I'm Patrick Kealty - I'm Irish, I got spikey hair so in theory I should be as lovable and funny as Graham Norton. So much for theories! We've got twelve contestants, three judges, two viewers!

Hello, I'm Natasha Kaplinsky — half television presenter, half prize-winning cat!

Welcome back to another special edition with me, Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall, the secret love child of Alan Davies and Dougal from The Magic Roundabout…

Hello, I'm Sandi Toksvig: love child of Bilbo Baggins and an Ewok…", and, "Hello, I'm Sandi Toksvig, the original hobbit…

You're watching Newsnight Review with me, Mark Lawson, Britain's brainest potato…" and "You're watching Newsnight Review with me, Mark Lawson, I am the eggman, Martha Kearney is the walrus…

Hello, you're watching Newsnight Review so you've probably lost your remote control.

Hi, I'm George Lucas, Hollywood's most powerful Ewok.

Hi, I'm George Lucas, you know lots of people say to me: "George? Why do you keep going back and tampering with the old Star Wars movies we love and keep creating crappy new ones we hate?" You know what I say to them? "You're fired!".

I'm Kirstie Allsopp, half woman, half Care Bear…

I'm Kirsty Allsopp. I wasn't born, I was knitted

And I'm Phil Spencer, half man…