“Cross-breed gags” quotes from Dead Ringers

Hello, I'm Bill Oddie. I used to be big in the seventies, but then again - so was the three day week.

Hello, I'm Bill Oddie. Don't be frightened of my beard, it's just to make predators think I'm bigger than I really am.

Hello, I'm Gabby Logan, half woman, half jockstrap!

I'm Graham Norton, the last Kenneth Williams in the shop.

I am Anne Robinson: Judge Dredd in an Armani trouser suit and I will be obeyed!

Hello, I'm Stellios [Haji-Ioannou]. The beloved lovechild of Pavarotti and a shish kebab.

My name is William Hague, Conservative Party Leader. And I refuse to be referred to as the illegitimate spawn of Ann Widdecombe and Nicholas Parsons.

Hello, and welcome to Bargain Hunt, with me, David Dickinson, the love child of Peter Stringfellow and a mahogany hat stand.

I'm Jeremy Kyle, pimp my Kilroy...

I'm Jeremy Kyle, no you can't have your dinner money back!

Hi, I'm Nick Ross. If wallpaper could speak it would say, "Hi I'm Nick Ross".

Hello, I'm John Craven, just think of me as a decaffeinated Nick Ross.

Hello, I'm Gillian McKeith, Pol Pot in a lab coat

My name is Greg Dyke, and I am director-general of the BBC. Shut up, I am!