Yes, Ned's depressing little life seems pointless, indeed. Until one fateful day, when a firey comet hits Ned's zipper! Seconds later, a secret experimental laser bombards the zipper with hyper-violet mercury rays! Then, it is doused with mysterious chemicals, stuck by the mystical powers of the Norse gods, bitten by a radioactive grasshopper, and taught the arcane apocolyptic of cloud men's mind by an inscrutable monk!
Wow! That hardly Ever happens!
The combination of these events transforms Ned's ordinary zipper into ... The Time Zipper!
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