Helen and Daria in “Unfinished Business”

Helen

[notices something] Oh my, where is everyone?

Daria

Dad, Tom and Jeffy are outside trying to catch a squirrel and Quinn's in her room crying.

Helen

Why? What happened?

Daria

Male bonding, I guess.

Helen

I mean with Quinn.

Daria

Oh. She said something about failing at relationships.

Helen

What? Just because Jeffy joined your father on some ridiculous squirrel chase, she thinks her relationship is over?

Daria

Well, she might have had slightly unrealistic expectations about what having a boyfriend entails.

Helen

Uh-huh. And just what would some of these expectations be?

Daria

You know, being together twenty-four hours a day, hanging on each other's every word, his-and-hers cemetery plots.

Helen

Daria, how could you mislead your sister like that!? [leaves]

Daria

Mother. How could I not? [looks back outside and sees Tom, Jake, and Jeffy celebrating the capture of the squirrel and walks back to her seat] And what about me? I finally get up the nerve to invite Tom for a family dinner and everyone leaves me, confirming my deepest fears about abandonment and isolation. Oh look, shoestring potatoes.