[Dan gets pulled over when a police officer shows up]
Do you know why I pulled you over?
No, officer. I wasn't speeding and my hands never stayed from the 10 and 2 position. Not even when I sneezed.
Your plates have expired. License and registration.
[while looking for his license and registration] Burgerphile receipt, Burgerphile receipt, Burgerphile receipt, Burgerphile receipt, Burgerphile receipt. What's this? Hey, Ninja Dave's receipt.
How about we start with your license? [Dan gives his license to him] Bad hair day, huh?
I'm sorry, did I get pulled over by the fashion police?
This license is expired.
But my voter registration is completely up to date. Good citizen.
I'll have to write you a "fix-it" ticket. You'll need to go to the Department of Motor Vehicles and get this all sorted out.
This is an outrage! I demand you tear up that ticket at once!
Stay in your car, sir!
I will not! My friend Chris pays taxes and those taxes pay your salary! [the officer sprays pepper in his face] Pepper spray? Really? Do I look like a 5 year old?
Sir, if you don't calm down, I'll be happy to upgrade to my nightstick.
But I wasn't doing anything wrong!
Hey, I don't make the rules. Blame the DMV.
DMV!
Ooh, and I am going to have cite you for noise violation. [gives Dan another ticket for noise violation and drives away]
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