Trevor Hale quotes from Cupid

Trevor

Do you people know nothing about romance?

Claire

Ah. The chair recognizes Trevor's id.

Claire

Why don't you meet me at the Clark Street El stop?

Trevor

Uh huh. Good. Listen, after that, I want you to take a look at the stain on my ceiling.

Claire

Trevor.

Trevor

Don't get all sweaty-palmed on me, snack time. Professional curiosity. The shape. I think it's an abstract representation of innocence lost.

Claire

Or?

Trevor

A duckie.

Trevor

I've been thinking.

Claire

I thought I heard something.

Trevor

I'm matching up a hundred couples, one at a time. It's taking way too long.

Claire

Trevor, that is great. Reality poking its head out for the first time. Good for you.

Trevor

You know what? I've got to think grander. I'm going to start a new religion.

Claire

Oh, reality just saw its shadow. 6 more weeks of dementia.

Trevor

Think about it. Sun Myung Moon. marries a hundred couples, right? Considers it an off day.

Claire

You're forgetting that it took him a lifetime to establish himself as a religious leader.

Trevor

But I'm a god. I already have a head start!

Claire

Okay. Poverty, humility, celibacy -- as your psychologist, I have to say it's not your strong suit.

Trevor

My religion's going to be fun. Cupidians will cruise through the airport with a small cup that says 'keg fund.'

Claire

"Cupidians?"

Trevor

Hey, I'll need a high priestess, a woman who embodies the unattainable carnal archetype, a glimpse of heaven for the pilgrims, a nude for stained glass.

Claire

Oh, rats, here I've got this hoity-toity dinner party tonight, so.

Trevor

Yeah, well, who was asking. I was only wondering if you could get me in touch with Courtney Love.

Trevor

I thought your name was Champ.

It's a stage name.

Trevor

You chose that name?

Look, stage names if you can't think of one they say you should take the name of your first pet.

Trevor

There's nothing wrong with Albert.

Well, you obviously never grew up black and overweight in America, then.

Trevor

You don't know that.

What is going on?

Trevor

Love reborn, sugarplum. It's like a bad rash, you know? Can't be stopped. Goes away, comes back...

Itches.

Trevor

But it's damn gratifying to scratch.