Criminal Minds · Season 1
Gideon, will you tell him that I don't need to go to the hospital?
Regulations are regulations. You're all right?
Yeah, I'm fine, 'dad.'
Elle?
Yeah?
Don't ever call me 'dad' again. [walks away]
[to Reid] How do you think he'd feel about 'mom?'
Let me know when you're going to do that, so I can run.
Albert Einstein asked, "The question that sometimes drives me hazy: Am I or the others crazy?"
[Reid is pouring piles of sugar into his coffee]
Easy there, tough guy. Have some coffee with your sugar.
I need something to wake me up.
Ooh, late night?
Very.
My man!
Not that kind of late night.
[laughs] Okay, so tell me, what does keep young Dr. Reid awake at night? Wait, let me guess. Memorizing some obscure textbook? No, no, no. Working on cold fusion? No, I got it, I got it, I got it. Watching Star Trek and laughing at the physics mistakes.
Actually, there aren't that many scientific errors in Star Trek. Especially considering how long ago it was made. There are certain improbabilities, but not that many outright errors.
Right.
Sir Peter Ustinov said, "Unfortunately, a superabundance of dreams is paid for by a growing potential for nightmares."
Melted wax?
Candle wax?
Candles are used in rituals.
They're also used on birthday cakes.
Actually, they were originally used to protect the birthday celebrant from demons for the coming year. As a matter of fact, down to the fourth century, Christianity rejected the birthday celebration as a pagan ritual.
What kind of a doctor are you?
Playwright Eugène Ionesco said, "Ideologies separate us. Dreams and anguish bring us together."
We all have bad dreams. Everyone on the plane, who wouldn't? We hunt the worst of humanity, we see the depths of depravity, we dream of monsters.
In my dream, there's a baby, in the middle of a circle, and there's someone on the other side, and I can't get to her before I...
Every night I look at Debra, helps me. Helps me go to sleep thinking of the victims we save. Don't always beat the monsters to the babies, but we do enough to make the job worth it. Keep the nightmares bearable.
What happened to you?
[entering the room on crutches] I got a list of things I want to try before it's too late.
[sarcastically] And orthopedic surgery's one of them?
No, skydiving. Apparently it's all about the landing.
[to Garcia, hurriedly] Give me the book. The big one, right there.
OK. [muttering under her breath] Get the book, please, Penelope. Here you are. Thank you.
How is it having Gideon around?
Uh, you can have him back whenever you would like.
Harriet Beecher Stowe once said, "The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone."
Well, you managed to get on Garcia's nerves pretty thoroughly.
Who's Garcia?
Penelope? The tech? With the glasses.
In the room with the screens?
Yeah.
She's great!
[thinking Gideon sent her a bouquet of flowers] Thank you for the flowers. [reading from the card] "I know I can be challenging, but your work is appreciated. J. Gideon." I appreciate the appreciation. And, BTW, you're not challenging. Well, no, you're totally challenging, but you're not challenging at all in a bad way, Sir.
The poet W. H. Auden wrote, "Evil is always unspectacular and always human, and shares our bed, and eats at our table."
Penelope Garcia's house of "How May I Save Your Ass Today?"
Well, you can give me the sex offender registry for Wilmington, Delaware.
Oh, that's always a fun group. Um, Morgan, did you hear that Agent Gideon sent me flowers?
No kidding?
Jealous?
Sex offenders, Garcia!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
