A little bit. But we make it work. At least I can hold your hand. [notices Cox's wedding ring] What's this? What the hell, are you wearing a wedding ring?
JJanitor
You're just noticing now? He's been wearing it for months.
Look, Tammy. We don't have the money. If you want to go out and raise the cash yourself, feel free. Maybe you could sell your eggs to a fertility clinic, or sell that beard of yours to the Ridiculous Museum. Better yet, you could make a list of all the people you drive insane and tell them that for a nominal fee, you'll never speak to them again. You of course offer them a monthly subscription at a reduced rate, just to reel them in. And then after a while of you not talking to them, people will forget just how annoying you are and they'll let their subscription run out. And, bang! That's when you show up at their house, and you drive them insane all over again, by speaking to them. And here's the kicker. When everyone's trying to re-subscribe, you lay it on them that the price is now quadruple. And I'm predicting, and that's a low-end guesstimate, you're looking at about $100,000,000 a quarter, easy. You give the hospital a hundred thou, we hire a few nurses. But, until then, you go tell Carla it ain't happening.
That's impossible. Because he and I swore to each other that, since neither one of us has ever been to Disneyland, that we would go for our 40th birthday together.
[screaming] I can't do it Elliot! You know, I tried! I tried, but it hurts too bad, it hurts me deep right here. It hurts me, I can feel it in my chest, that man went to Disneyland without me! They got roller-coasters that roller-coaster in the dark! Okay? You don't know where the turns are coming from! They got the Finding Nemo ride, where you're riding around with Nemo! And it is a ride, a ride, with Nemo!
[clears throat] I just wanna say somethin' before we kiss, okay? [to guests] And thanks for coming even though I didn't want you here. [To Lady] Uh, I know that I'm weird, but uh, you know, you'd be weird too, if your mother aged backwards, like mine did. So the thing is that I always kind of... figured that I would end up alone. And then you came along.
LLady
Mmhmm?
JJanitor
And you don't just accept my quirks and my crazy stories and my lies about my mom, you actually appreciate me for them. And uh, I don't think I'll ever stop appreciating you, for that. But I know that I'll never stop loving you for it.
Look, Elliot, I don't know if it's possible for me to put how I feel about you into words, but I guess I'll give it a shot. I never really believed I'd find somebody that I love as much as you. I love you more than anything in the whole world. Elliot, I love you more than Turk.
Yeah, I'm sorry. I was so blitzed on rum drinks I didn't know where I was. I feel horrible.
JJanitor
Oh, no, stop it. At first, you were like the third wheel from hell, but then we made you do stuff. Made you pay for our meals, got you in a couple bar fights... On the beach, we bet you you couldn't eat a starfish.
I know, but I also know that the girls aren't going to let up until we make peace. So, what do you say we change the tone a little bit and both say something nice about each other? I'll go first. Look at you. There's no way around it: you're a beautiful man.
He's finally gone. Talk about making a big deal over nothing, you know. I mean, Dr. Dorian was fine, but he was no better than any other doctor.
CCox
For the record, he was the best that ever came through this dump. [J.D. quietly walks behind him] John Dorian was the first and only doctor I ever met who cared as much as I do. And you can forget about him being just an exceptional physician because the fact of the matter is, he was... he's a damn exceptional person. That's why people gravitated to him. That's why I did. He was my friend.
It's okay, Perry. You just said how you feel. Honestly, I am so full of your love right now, I literally could not take another drop. Brace yourself, I'm coming in. [He hugs Cox and takes a deep breath] You smell like a father figure.
Yeah, they gave me money to do it. Along with free room and board to attend to your emotional needs. Speaking of which, little administrative thing. If you're going to kill yourself — lookin' at you, sad eyes — do it off-campus, because it is a butt-load of paperwork.
