Anyway, I was thinking we need new table linens for the dining room. Well, not so much table linens as placemats. What do you think's prettier, burgundy or mauve?
She's mad, but she can't give me the "silent treatment", because she knows I'd actually love that, so she's giving me the "talk until I want to commit suicide treatment".
[is still talking as Doctor Cox starts eating his newspaper] What else do I need for that — OH! I need new pillow shams and I — I like cotton, but I think we should get a cotton blend because that's easier to clean and I hate ironing. Maybe we need a new housekeeper — maybe the housekeeper should come every single day now...
A tip jar. Really? So what am I supposed to do, just duke you my change because you poured hot water through beans? Well, I'll tell you what, my friend, unless you're also planning on giving me a complimentary reach-around with my beverage, I'm afraid the answer is yeah-no. Here's a novel idea: Why don't you go fetch me a very large cup of coffee with so damn many fake sugars in it that the coffee itself gets cancer. [slouches away]
I haven't sung since the sixth grade talent show when I sang Pat Benatar's "Hell Is For Children". Then at the end, Mr. Shaman the emcee said "No, hell is for everyone who heard you sing that song." My mom was so mad at him that she slept with him and ruined his marriage.
Then out of fairness to the others, you will be "Slagathor". Daves, Debbies, Slagathor, I will be in my office. If you need anything, feel free to bother Dorian.
