[as a leprechaun] Top o' the mizzle to ya, me nizzles!
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
KKylie
I'm getting my Masters in Political Science.
I love politics, ask me anything. [narration] What are you doing? You don't know anything about politics. You're screwed unless she asks about Bush or the bald assistant president who has all those heart attacks.
[Turk is sitting on a counter, waiting for Carla and holding her purse.]
What in the hell are you doing?
I get to have sex!
I hate this place.
Dude, the only difference between a black girl and a white girl is that when a black girl asks you if her ass looks big, you say, "Hell yeah!"
Hey, grouchy pants! Do you wanna hang out?
Does "hang out" mean choke you?
So, Nurse Ghandirella, I need you to suction this guy, do a wet-to-dry dressing change, and, oh, what the hell, go ahead and top him off with one of your special, special sponge baths. Happy ending optional; his choice, not yours.
This guy's in a coma.
Not all of him.
[after defeating Carla in arm wrestling] DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU GET, CARLA?! DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU MESS WITH THE WARRIOR?!
Jordan, your only skill is illegal in 26 states.
It's 27. Arkansas buckled.
I can't believe Turk and Carla are kicking me out.
Mm. When I was fifteen, my parents threatened to do the same thing, so I called them on it.
They let you stay?
Nope. I lived with the Babcocks for two years. I didn't have a lot of rules, though, because they were really old and they thought I was a ghost.
RRon
So, why do you wanna baby-sit my kid? You think I can't handle my own kid?
No, that's not it at all. I think you're great with your kid. You're fantastic with your kid. In fact, in fact if you want, you can baby-sit my kid.
RRon
Are we really doing this? 'Cause I'll baby-sit the hell outta your kid.
Oh, bring it on, daddy.
[frantic] Turk! If you can't remember to put the cap on the toothpaste how are we going to raise our children? You know what? I'm going to stay with my sister!
You know, they make thongs specifically for low-riders now.
They don't work for me. I still can't sit down without showing the whole world the crack of my ass. The other night, some guy tried to put a pen in it.
[narration] "Some guy"... I never get credit for anything!
Why can't Carla just let this go?
Wouldn't you be mad if you caught your husband talking to his ex-girlfriend?
Yeah... but mostly because I had a husband.
Perry, you just go right ahead and say what you want, cause Dr. Bob Kelso is back in action and he hasn't missed a step. Now, where do we keep the sick people?
Nothing in this world, that's worth having comes easy
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.