Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Sweetie, I'm seventy-four years old, I'm ready to go.
Yeah, but with dialysis, you could live another... eighty or ninety years!
I think you're being a little irrational.
No I'm not.
Everybody dies sometime.
No they don't.
She doesn't want dialysis? Well, if she declines dialysis, then there is no ethical dilemma.
But what about our duty as doctors to do everything in our power to help--
(mock-crying) "But what about our duty as doctors?" (normal voice) Look, this has nothing to do with your patient. It's all about you. You are afraid of death, and you can't be. You're in medicine. You've gotta accept the fact that everything we do here- everything- is a stall. We're just trying to keep the game going, that's it. But ultimately, it always ends up the same way.
J.D. [narrating] So they say that one out of every three patients admitted to this place will die here. But some days, the odds are worse than that. And on days like that, I guess the best you can hope for is that you took something from it. Anything. Anything at all. Even if it's just taking the time to lie in the grass and think about all the things you still have left to do.
What in the name of Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret were you thinking?
I'm very proud of you, Dr... uh...
[narration] Just look at my badge!
...Dr. Turk!
Oh, that's my roommate's badge. We must have switched this morning...
That's a great anecdote. You should write it down in your journal. Then your kids can read about it when you're dead!
Your ex-wife. She's the answer.
Uhhh... Things that ruined my life. Things that took half my money? Things with sharp edges!
[Dr. Cox is reminiscing about his ex-wife]
She was never boring.
What happened?
Oh, you know... you marry someone who reminds you of your mother, and then you remember you hate your mother. You talked to her, didn't you?
I don't think you realize how important you are to a lot of people around here.
[narration] I'll always remember that moment as the first "thank you" I got from Dr. Cox.
Well, geez, Agnes, does the field hockey team know that you're missing?
[narration] It felt good.
So he has a cute butt. Everyone has a cute butt. I have a cute butt.
You should bring it in someday.
You know I kinda had a date last night?
Really?
Yeah, a guy on the bus fell asleep on me and drooled on my shoulder.
...You slut.
[as Robin in a daydream] Holy inferiority complex, Batman! How low is my self esteem that I'm the sidekick in my own fantasy?
[as Batman] It could be worse, Robin. You could be Alfred the butler.
[as Alfred] Damn you, sir.
[narration] It's funny how our perceptions can be so off. Like when you're searching for a place to fit in and you don't realize you've been there the whole time. Or how a bunch of posters can't turn you into a role model if you've already been one for years. Of course, in my case I knew exactly where I stood and it didn't feel that good.
[To intern review board] I would like to make special mention of one intern, here. John Dorian. Smart kid, he's extremely competent, and his enthusiasm and his determination to always be better is something I see 24 hours a day. He cares. He cares too much. But he's definitely somebody you don't want to lose. [As he gets up and leaves] Now if you have any questions... Well, I could give a crap! I'm going home. Y'all get paid way too much for doing nothing anyway.
Doctor Cox, did you get my memo reminding all senior staff that lab coats must be worn at all times?
You know I did get it there, Bob, and at first I just threw it away, but then I decided that wasn't a grand enough gesture, so I made a replica of you out of straw and I put my lab coat on it with your memo in the pocket, and then I invited all the kids in the neighborhood to come over to light it on fire and whack it with sticks.
So he was up all night with a high fever, cramping and crying.
Dude.
Oh, my bad. Not crying. Punching the wall all manly and angry like. You know what I mean?
Your new nickname is Scooter.
Why?
It's short for scooter pie. [J.D. stares at him blankly.] I hate scooter pie.
Oh, now I see. [voiceover] Ya big jerk.
[To annoying patient] Okay, think of what little patience I have as, oh, I don't know, your virginity. You always thought it would be there, until that night Junior Year when you were feeling a little down about yourself and your pal Kevin, who just wanted to be friends, well, he dropped by and he brought a copy of About Last Night and a four-pack of Bartles & Jaymes and badaow, it was gone forever—just like my patience is now.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
