Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
(after the Northridge girls help her plug her phone in) Yay. My phone came on.
Yay. My phone came on.
Aw, man.
Aw, man.
You got the Talking Reggie app?
You got the Talking Reggie app?
Yes... (she tries to shut it off)
Yes...
Turn it off.
Shut...up. (presses more buttons)
Shut...up. (Tori sighs)
Dolphins creep me out, so I will not go in the ocean.
Just say A, B or C.
B!
Maybe it was A!
I DON'T CARE!
I'M NOT HAPPY WITH OUR RELATIONSHIP!!! (pause)
...We'll be right back with more of Queries for Couples.
(walks up next to him) Starring Trina.
STOP IT!
What up, girlfriend?
Stop pretending we're a couple! The game show is over. [squeezes Robbie's mouth]
Amhh, I don't think you should be getting snippy with your pretend boyfriend who fixed your PearPhone.
You fixed it?
Yep, your mobile phone is once again mobile.
What... what... what is this?
Car batteries, from a Volvo.
So I'm supposed to walk around with these giant car batteries to power my phone?
Or you can just buy a new GX and replace that one.
No, if I buy another GX I guarantee you the new XT will come out like the next day and then I'll be the pre-turd with the stupid GX while everybody else has the cool new XT.
(touches her shoulder) Take it easy, baby.
(sternly) Robbie...
(while begging Tori and her friends to be the contestants for his game show) Don't blow this for me, Tori!!!!!!!!
(Beck is holding Jade while walking in the hallway)
I'm done talking about it!
No! We're not!
He's KIDNAPPING me! (shouting) You wanna see a kidnapper?! KIDNAPPER! Let go! (Beck brings Jade inside the janitor's closet) KIDNAPPER!
This is not funny.
Right! What's funny is you freaking out over a dumb game show!
We were voted worst couple. And the other two couples weren't even real couples! And one had Robbie in it!
Why do you care if we were voted worst couple?
It's a matter of- (Cat walks in with three spoons)
Is this a closet party? Look, I have spoons!
Cat, come here. We need your opinion on something.
On global warming?
No.
'Cause I don't think that's really happening.
Cat...
Seriously. I went to the movies the other night, and it was so cold...
CAT!
Hi. (waves her arms)
We need your opinion on us.
Why not just ask a monkey?!
I saw a movie about a monkey! He wore glasses and carried a gun.
Don't you think Jade and I fight a lot?
Sure.
Yeah, but all boyfriends and girlfriends fight a lot, don't they?
Well sometimes, we-
Yes or no?! (Cat yelps)
LET HER TALK!
You never listen to me talk!
Can I go now?
No! (grabs Cat by the backpack) What is your point here, anyway?!
I would like to have a girlfriend I can talk to without it turning into a screaming match!
Yeah, well I'd like a boyfriend who other girls don't stare at all the time!
I thought this was a closet party.
How is it my fault girls stare at me?!
Oh, you could look worse if you wanted to.
(panicked) I'm under my bed, I'm under my bed, I'm under my bed... (puts her hands on her ears while gasping)
I can't believe how jealous you get.
Oh! Oh, so you think I'm ugly.
What?! (to Cat) Who sai-did I say she was ugly?!
Cat thinks we're a perfect couple!
Cat, are Jade I are a perfect couple?
DON'T ANSWER THAT!
Answer it!
SAY NOTHING!
Come on!
YOU COME ON!!!!
(Cat faints and drops her spoons)
We made Cat faint.
I'm late for class. (Jade leaves)
We're gonna have to finish this sooner or later!
Later!
(leaves the closet and walks past the janitor named Luther) Hi.
(Luther enters the closet. Cat is still lying on the ground. Luther, who did not notice Cat, gets a sledgehammer and a bundle of rope. Suddenly, Lane walks in.)
Hey, Luth. Somebody spilled a soda on the floor in the gym and it--- (both Lane and Luther see Cat lying on the ground unconscious)
(in a disapproving tone) Oh, Luther. Why?
(Tori, Cat, André, Robbie, Trina and Rex are playing poker and discussing Tori's phone)
Just buy yourself another Pearphone GX.
No, if I buy another GX, they're (everyone joins Tori) gonna announce the XT the next day, and then everyone will have a new XT and I'll be stuck with the stupid GX.
I'm so sick of hearing that.
Well, there's no need for you guys to mock me simultaneously.
Oh! Great, it's-it's you guys!
See? They're all here. I told you, they'd all be here.
Listen, I am sorry that we didn't invite you guys to play, but, uh-
Tell her why you didn't invite us to play.
Well...cause...we were...planning your surprise party...?
What?!
Alright! We didn't invite you guys to play because you two are always screaming at each other, and it makes everybody feel awkward, it makes Cat faint, and sometimes it makes Robbie cry!
One time! I cried one time!
Six.
Six times!
See?! We fight so much, even our friends don't want us around!
Tori's not my friend, I only tolerate Robbie, no one likes Trina, and Cat's basically a pet.
Arf!
Are you guys gonna let her say that nobody likes me?! (Beck and Jade both turn to Tori then back)
So...why don't you guys play cards with us. (touches Jade's arm then walks to the table)
Look, I-I don't want to be your boyfriend if we're just gonna fight all the time.
So you wanna break up?
No, I-I didn't say that. I'm just saying...
You guys might break up? Because I'm not dating anyone, and I always thought Beck and I would make the perfect- (Jade throws a pillow at her, and she stands shocked)
Next time it's a hammer! C'mon, Beck, take me to get some food.
I'm tired of fighting.
Ok. I'm gonna walk out that door, and I'm gonna count to ten.
Don't forget three. (everyone looks at her) Some people forget it.
If I get to 10 and you're not out there, I'm going home… and we're over. [Jade goes outside] 1!
(while touching Beck seductively) I would never fight with you.
2… 3… [Cat claps] 4… [Beck heads to the door] 5… [Trina follows Beck to stop him] 6… [Trina jumps on Beck and pins him down]
TRINA! [Tori, André, Robbie and Cat go to Trina]
Just give me a chance!
Stop!
Just give me a chance!
Get OFF! NO!(André and Robbie pull Trina off of Beck)
I'm a really fun girl... (Robbie pins Trina)
(to Trina) No! You're not!
(while holding Beck's leg) ...And so good looking!
Stop! What are you doing?! Stop! (Beck stands up and goes to the door)
7… (Beck holds the doorknob and stops) 8… (Beck looks at Trina, who is pointing at herself and winking) 9… (André, Cat and Tori glare at one another) 10! (Jade stops while Beck is still inside, holding the doorknob. Jade goes to the door, but steps back and leaves. Inside, Beck lets go of the doorknob while he hears Jade's car leaving)
Let's play some cards.
(sadly) Yeah, let's play… (everybody goes to the table to play cards)
I'll pick up the cards.
Make sure you get all 52.
KK. 1, 2, (forgets three) 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11... (Trina sits beside Beck and lies her head on his shoulder)
(Tori has bought a new Pearphone GX. Suddenly, Trina walks in)
Hey. Look what I got, everyone. (shows her new Pearphone XT)
The new Pearphone XT?!
Yep. (Tori, surprised, looks at the phone)
What? No, no, no, no, no..
Uh huh. They just hit the Pear Store this morning.
(also holding a Pearphone XT) I got one too.
(also holding Pearphone XT) Same here.
Uh huh.
I got one.
(holding also a Pearphone XT and a sledgehammer) I got a blue one...... with unlimited texting.
(furiously) DOG JAM IT! (goes to the trash can) Buh-bye! (drops the phone in the trash can)
Buh-bye! :Tori: Ugh! (kicks the trash can and leaves) :Talking Reggie: EEEEEEERRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!
(Cat puts a dollar in the soda machine, picks a drink, takes it and immediately throws it in the trash. The bell rings)
Cat? Why'd you just throw your drink in the trash?
'Cause I wasn't thirsty.
But...but you bought the-ah, forget it.
(to the puppy) Jade seems really mean, but don't worry, she is.
(Jade sits beside Cat) Yay, we're hanging out togethe-- (Cat is about to hug Jade)
NO!! (Cat recoils)
I'm pretty sure we're not supposed-
(touches the guitar) Look! I'm touching the guitar, see. (in an Elvis Presley accent) I'm Elvis Presley and I'm touching my guitar. That's right, baby. I touched the boss' skull and now I'm touching my special guitar. (in regular voice) See? I touched the guitar and nothing bad happened. (guitar falls and crashes through the window. Cat stares in shock) ...That guitar was not properly hung.
(upon hearing Andre knock frantically) Who is it? Are you a criminal?!
Not really.
It's open! (Andre comes in)
(takes off his jacket) Hey.
Aren't you supposed to be at Hope's party?
Yes. Yes, I am. I'm supposed to be at her birthday party, I'm supposed to perform a song, and I'm supposed to like her. But I don't! I don't like that girl at all! (takes a pillow from the couch) Not even a little bit! And I don't know WHAT TO DO! (slams the pillow on the couch)
Want some mashed potatoes?
No! I don't want any...(beat) Gimme the bowl. (takes the bowl out of Tori's hands)
(Jade attempts to put duct tape around the broken guitar. After doing so, Jade holds the guitar but it snaps again.)
Do you think my mom's boss will notice?
(outside) Cat! Hey, Cat!
We're in here!
You called Robbie?!
Yeah, so he can help us put up the guitar and fix the window.
Robbie can barely work his zipper on his own pants! (Cat giggles)
(entering the room holding a bucket of materials) What's up, little pigeons? (Suddenly, Beck enters, also holding some materials, which leaves Jade surprised)
Hi.
(to Cat) Why did you invite Beck?!
(to Robbie) You didn't tell me Jade was gonna be here?
I didn't know!
(to Jade) I thought you had a date tonight.
Why'd you think that?
It said so on your Slap page.
Why you stalking my Slap page?
Why do you care?
Why is Robbie's zipper down? (Robbie notices and pulls it up)
Look, let's just get this stupid guitar fixed and hung back up there before Cat's mom's boss gets back.
We have to fix the window, too.
Oooh! I'll find a window repair company using the new feature on my PearPhone. (his PearPhone dings) I need a window repair company in Beverly Hills.
(ding) Checking for...adult diapers. (Cat, Jade and the puppy all look questioned)
N-n-n-n-n-no, that was my last search.
(back at the mansion, Robbie and Jade fix the guitar while Beck and Cat talk to the window repair company worker)
Thanks for fixing the window.
Yeah. And we didn't even notice your lack of hair. (the worker leaves as Cat waves)
Guitar all good up there?
Yep-per-die-doo.
Yeah! And look. You can't even see where it broke.
Nope.
Yay! My mom's boss will never know anything bad happen!
(picks up the skull) Whoa! Is this a real human skull?
Yeah. Give it, so I can put it back.
No. I'm looking at it.
(gets the skull) Robbie, give it to me. (Jade and Robbie start to fight about the skull)
Shut it.
Stop!
Just----
Robbie! We don't have time!
Just---
Fine! (Jade drops the skull)
(the skull falls on the glass table, breaking it. Cat gasps. At the same time, the guitar swings and destroys a lamp. Cat yelps and starts to cry)
Don't cry.
But--- (buzz)
I heard a buzz.
Zip up your pants! (Robbie does so)
(clicks the buzzer) Hello?
Cat. It's Carl Gibbons. I forgot my key, would you buzz me in?
It's my mom's boss.
Could you buzz me in?
Um. Sure I could. Or maybe you could go to Europe for two weeks.
Cat, buzz me in.
(Cat does so) Kay-kay. (Cat sobs)
Cat.
It will be okay.
When he gets up here, we'll just explain that–
(an earthquake hits the mansion)
What's happening?
EARTHQUAKE!!!
Earthquake!
[grabs Cat] OKAY, EVERYBODY DOWN!!! COVER YOUR HEADS!!!
AAAHHH!!!!
(Beck covers Cat and himself, Robbie hides under a small table and Jade protects herself with a pillow while the dog barks loudly. The earthquake partially destroys the mansion. The scene cuts to Nozu where the earthquake also hits. Tori hides under the round table along with the other guests.)
Everybody get down! I don't have insurance!
Protect my birthday presents! Somebody protect my– (a giant sign falls on her head, knocking her out. The earthquake stops and everybody stares at a moaning Hope. Andre then smiles.)
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
