YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT MAKES ME SICK?!
Is it eating tuna fish on a Ferris wheel? ...Cause I did that once, and I threw up on a bird.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
(reading the tracking number) Here it is, tracking number. A, K, 4, 5, 5, H, J, 1, 4, 7, 7, H, Y, 7, F, L, 4... (later) 6, Q, L, 4, K, 3, 2, A, M, T, Y... (later) K, L, 5, 4, 9, B, D, 6.
Will you stop that?!
Shush, they're about to tell me where my package is!
RReceptionist
Your package was delivered at...8:21 PM.
8:21?
It's 8:21 right now.
Oh. (runs to the door) I don't see the-(gets hit by the package and falls to the floor)
Your package is here!
Uh, Elise! Hey, Elise!
EElise
Um... Andre? Right?
Andre. Yeah. So, uh, here's what's up. Some friends of mine might be going to the Gorilla Club tonight. And if you don't have any plans, I was thinking maybe me and you--- (Jades sneaks behind him)
HAMMER TIME.
Not now. All right. I'm trying to talk to----
STOP! HAMMER TIME. (Jade plays a MC Hammer-like song on her PearPad. Then, Andre starts to dance like MC Hammer. Elise then leaves.)
(following Elise while still dancing) Wait! Wait, Elise! Don't walk away from a man when he's Hammer dancing!
It's for a role in a movie, about a teenager whose parents send her to a home for troubled girls.
Oh. One time my brother went to a home for troubled girls.
Why?
To meet troubled girls.
(When Tori is practicing her audition as Sikowitz, Andre and Robbie watch her, Jade suddenly enters with a big boombox.)
HAMMER TIME.
Ugh!
Darn it, oh! (Robbie and Andre stand up as Jade plays the boombox. A song similar to MC Hammer's starts to play and both Robbie and Andre start dancing like MC Hammer.)
Oh my God!
His tush is lopsided!
DON'T LOOK AT IT! (Robbie and Andre continue dancing)
(to the Gorilla) HAMMER TIME!!!!! (starts dancing like MC Hammer as the music plays)
People leave here alive, right?
Sometimes.
I think I just stepped in some blood. (a manager comes up to them)
MManager
(hands Tori, Andre, Cat, and Beck clipboards) Here. Sign 'em!
Why do we have to sign these?
It just says that if you try any of the challenges here, you won't sue the place if you get...dead.
TThug
She's not supposed to be laughing on the bunny!
Well, what do you want me to do?!
GET THE DANG DOOR!
He's helping me take risks.
(sarcastically) OH!
I am a risk taker!
Don't tell me, tell the gorilla!
WHY DON'T YOU TELL MY BUTT?!
(offscreen) THAT'S MY THING!
(Tori manages to win the Gorilla challenge)
TORI VEGA BEAT THE BIG BAD..... (suddenly, the gorilla attacks Tori)
You did it!
Shoosh yeah, I did!
WHO'S A ROCKSTAR?!?!
MEEEEEEEEE!
Whoo! (they hi-five) You are definitely a real risk taker!
I know! And to prove it even more you know what I'm gonna do RIGHT NOW?!
WHAT?
I'm gonna use the bathroom HERE! (jumps)
...Sitting?
(in a menacing voice) Sitting.
Ooooh! What if we act out the final scene from Titanic? When the boat sinks? ...Oh my God, I just gave away the ending. Spoiler alert. (laughs)
You know, whenever she starts talking, I think to myself "Maybe this time it'll make sense." I'm always wrong.
Hey, if we're gonna keep talking about Tori's phone, could someone please take me to a car door so I can slam my face in it?
(smiling) I have a car. (turns to Jade)
(in a slow, offended tone) Oh.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.