(fake fighting with Beck) Who put my dog in a wedding dress?
It was hilarious.
Y'know what, this friendship is over.
Eat a rag.
You eat 2 rags! (to the producers) ...Did ya get all that?
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
KKyle
Tori Vega, Beck Oliver, Jade West, and Andre Harris, congratulations! You're all going to be featured on The Wood.
And what about me?
KKyle
No.
Why not?
KKyle
Because you reek of desperation.
That's her natural scent.
TTeacher
Tori, can you make your sister leave?
Trina, stop embarrassing me or I'm gonna embarrass you.
Don't threaten me.
When Trina was six, our family went to the mall just before Christmas-
Don't say it.
And she peed.
Tori!
On Santa Claus.
(makes embarrassed sound and leaves)
So what's the plan?
I don't know. You're smart, she's mean. You think of something.
One time, when I was seven, I was at the beach and I made a sand castle, and I named it Cat's Castle. (pause) True story.
I'll go find some cheerleaders that need a ride home.
Will they be wearing their uniforms?
That's what makes them cheerleaders.
Okay, would you rather give up the Internet or your foot?
Foot.
Foot.
Foot.
(lifts up knee with Jade's foot on it) Jade's foot.
You would all rather give up a foot then the internet.
Yeah.
You love the internet.
Yeah, but your foot's like a part of your body and the internet's... Yeah, my foot.
This one time I ate a hamburger and an hour later i started sneezing but i don't think it had anything to do with the hamburger.
Maybe your red hair dye seeps through your skull and into your brain.
Can that happen!?
Where's Trina?
Tori locked her in the bathroom.
Cat! You weren't supposed to tell her that.
I'm okay with it.
I spy a fly, with my little thigh!
Thigh?
Sikowitz': [Chases the fly] Come here! Time to die! [crashes through a window]
RRex
[after Tori kisses him] Take me home.
Okay, Beck. What role will Cat be playing at the Great Sikowitz Sleepover?
Cat will play a 1980s standup comedian...who's very annoying!
I wanna be a unicorn!
You can't!
Phooey..!
Now, Cat! Who will Robbie be playing?
Well...i've decided, Robbie's role should be a motivational speaker...
Pfft. I could do that!
Who just drank some weird beverage that makes his legs weak and wobbly! (laughs)
Okay, so, uh, i'm a motivational speaker with...jelly legs.
Yeah, i'm creative.
Wonderful. Robbie, tell us the character you've chosen for Beck.
Sure! One sec. (presses some buttons on his PearPad then turns it to them) Okay. Beck will be playing... (turns the PearPad to face them) A guy from England whose accent is really hard to understand, and he's always invading people's personal space.
(in a British accent) No problem.
Andre! What do you have in store for Torro?
Did you just call me Torro?
Maybe.
It's To-RI!
I know. But I do love that fatty tuna.
(to Robbie) Should I be offended?
Okay, uh, Tori's character will be a cop who wears way too much red lipstick, and is obsessed with raisin bran.
Where did you come up with that?
Well, see, I had this dream last night, where this lady cop was like...and she was like...then I was like...I just thought of it.
Tori! Tell us what Jade will be.
Love to. (As she walks in front of the others, Jade looks worried that Tori will say something she will hate.) Jade will be an innocent farm girl from Alabama who's always super sweet and nice and never gets upset about anything.
I'd rather slam my tongue in a car door.
Now tell us who Andre will be playing.
Ugh, fine... (stands up and walks in front of the others) You're gonna be a guy who's just finished running a marathon...
Okay.
Who also happens to be nine months pregnant.
...Who's the daddy?
WAAAAA! I think I'm gonna have a baby! Why did I just run that marathon?!
I AM A POLICE OFFICER! Would you like some RAISIN BRAN?!
JJason
I'm going with some guys to see the Waldogs play at the moxie.
I'll go with you to see the Waldogs play at the moxie, I'll go right now!
EEEECK! Cat...you just broke character. (opens the door)
Yay! (drops her microphone and leaves with Jason) Bye, everyone, I'll be at the moxie! (Sikowitz shuts the door after they leave.)
And to THINK I was gonna let that boy eat my Raisin Bran!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.