Major Slater (to Slater): My C.O. just went A.W.O.L. with the G.I. from the P.X. I gotta go A.S.A.P. See you, A.C.
You guys sound like an eye chart.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Come on Slater, tell him the good news...Iowa.
Iowa?
I owe-a Zack ten dollars. Can you lend it to me?
(looking surprised) That's good news?
It is to me.
Mr. Morris (after learning that Zack was drinking alcohol): What would you do if you were in my position?
(explaining Screech's version of what happened in the accident involving Lisa's mom's car) It's a terrible thing that happened to those monkeys though.
I'm dead. Jessie's gonna rip my eyes out, punch my face in and then break up with me. It's her usual pattern.
What's wrong, Lisa?
This ring put a green stain on my finger!
Why would it do that?
Because it's not real gold, DUH!
Well, maybe it's just yours. (the rest of the gang reveals green marks after removing their rings) Maybe it's just ours.
(More students show up with green marks on their fingers)
NNerd
There he is!
Maybe it's just everybody's!
This is my associate, A.C. Slater.
GDGem Diamond
What's the "A.C." stand for?
Abnormally Cruel. (gives him a painfully firm handshake)
Happy Valentine's Day!
Slater (to Zack): What, no rose for me, preppie? And I thought we were real close.
Slater, face it. It's over.
GThe Guys
We're bad, we know it. We're bad, we've shown it!
GThe Girls
We're bad! We knew it! You cheated! You blew it!
Guys, plan A did not go so well. It's on to plan B.
What's that?
Unconditional surrender.
M...Mercury. V...Venus. E...E...E-I-E-I-O...
Screech, what's the rest of it?
Old McDonald had a farm...
Jessie (to Zack about Screech after he gets sick): You took the doofus skiing.
(At the Academic Bowl)
Who invented basketball?
NNerd
O.J. Simpson!
That is incorrect.
NNerd
Okay. O.J. Chamberlain!
No! That is wrong and ridiculous!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.