What's good with you, planet Earth? This your boy Thugnificent representing Terre-Belle, Georgia. You know I'm saying? Lethal Interjection living next to your home. Check the chain, nigga! (holds up chain) I know y'all love my music, and love my videos, and shit. But be fully prepared to drink Hella Haterade, nigga. Cause y'all 'bout to see how good it is to be me, and how bad it is to be you! We got plenty of ho's bending, we got's spinning. It's Thugnificent's crib, nigga. Let's roll. I like to give haters something to hate right when they get to the door, nigga.
DHDoorbell Ho
(orgasmically) Ding....... dong....
Not nobody do it like this here, nigga. We do it real grande around here, man. Ain't nobody got one of these: A doorbell with real bitches singing the notes.
DHDoorbell Ho
(orgasmically) Ding....... dong....
That's right, nigga! Whore Bell. Yeah, you know, I believe in investing in the arts. And I believe in investing in myself. Now, this shit right here, this is some old John Woo shit, nigga, from the movie killer. Know what I'm saying? That's me, though. You mad? You hating, my nigga? Well, it's hard not to, nigga. Ha-ha! You might wanna send your lady out of the room for this next one, man. She about to look at you like a serious disappointment. A living room with a motherfucking Jacuzzi, nigga. Oh, but there's more, my nigga. This is the straw that breaks the haters' camel's back, nigga. I got Hulks on tap, nigga. Observe. Shit, this one nigga came through here with his bitch - left with a case of hate poisoning, nigga. You know what I'm saying? Ay, Ay, Ay Flow, tell em about that nigga that got his spirits crushed by the rubies and and the diamonds and shit.
He killed himself, man. Took his own life and shit, Y'knamean? Suicide over some shit about his ex-girlfriend and all of that. We all knew the shit was about the diamonds and the rubies and the Jacuzzi!
Now, this aquatic adventure park is especially for y'all niggas out there with your little inground pools, diving boards or whatever. Step your pool game up, nigga. We slide down with ours. You know what I'm saying? Your bitch does. Now, this right here is what I like to call my bitch tank, and this bitch is Debbie. Y'all broke niggas keep buying fish food if you want. Hey, don't sweat it, homey. 'Cause when it's time to show the world how the broke niggas live, maybe MTV will come to your house, and it'll be your turn to shine, but until then, tell your Moms to get off my dick, nigga. And get the hell up out of here, bitches.
Now Riley, I want you to know even though we're doing it real grand, if this rap shit don't work, we runnin' up in nigga's houses!
(The Lethal interjection crew all voice their approval)
We gonna be hittin' the street, son! Movin' mad rock all day, sellin' that real heavy drug shit!
(The crew shout their approval louder)
LLenny
Or we be flippin' those burgers at Wendy's, my nigga!
(The room falls silent)
LLenny
...know what I mean? With the fries and shit, I do whatever nigga! Shakes, all that "extra ketchup? Here, you need some napkins?" You feel me?
(More silence. Everyone just glares at Lenny)
Man what the fuck is you talkin' about?
(Everyone else grumbles insults)
LLenny
I'm sorry man, I wasn't thinkin' about it. I shoulda said, like... Burger King...
(Thugnificent glares)
(narrating) Since I woke up, I knew who took my chain: Butch Magnus Milosevich.
TTeen
Crazy Butch Magnus? Something is really wrong with that kid.
OWOld Woman
The most fucked-up child I've ever seen in my life. My long-ass, sorry, mothafuckin', goddamn life!
WWoman
Butch Magnus? Awful, terrible human. Makes me sick just to think of him! I'm gonna vomit now.
(narrating) Otherwise known as "One-Punch Butch". He like to jack you first and ask you for your shit all after the fact.
(punches a kid and takes his sandwich) What kind of sandwich is this? (punches a kid and takes his iPod) What are you listening to? (punches a kid off his bike and rides off with it like Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas) Let me ride your bike real quick, bitch!
(narrating) Last year, Butch was expelled from the Jesus, Mary and Joseph Academy For Boys for assaulting a nun.
(takes the paddle) Gimme dis shit!
(narrating) He even made it on one of those Maury Povich episodes where they send the kids to Boot Camp.
(Butch is sitting on stage casually, next to a security guard. An imposing drill instructor marches onto the set and starts yelling in Butch's face like Major Payne)
DIDrill Instructor
YOU LISTEN TO ME YOU LITTLE FAT TURD, I'M NOT YO MOMMA AND I'M NOT GONNA PUT UP WITH THIS MO--
(Butch smiles and headbutts the D.O. viciously, breaking his nose.)
DIDrill Instructor
AAUUUGHHHH!! (collapses as blood gushes from his nose)
(The security guard tries to restrain Butch, only to be clobbered by a chair. Butch then smashes the chair on the terrified Drill Instructor.)
I call you a bitch, cuz you a bitch! What, you thought I wasn't gonna come see you? You thought you wasn't gonna get the taste smacked out of your mouth for trying to jack Young Reezy? You better fall back, nigga!
You can't beat me! I'm Butch Magnus! AAARRRGGGHHH!
You do real good when you come outta nowhere and sucker punch a nigga. Why don't you fight a nigga straight up?
(Butch stalks up to Riley... the monstrous bully literally blocks out the sunlight as he towers above Riley. Riley stands his ground but looks just a little worried.)
Well, you were looking for hate. Way to go.
Shut up, punk! Instead of bein' Mr. Funny Nigga, why don't you try bein' Mr. Help-A-Nigga-Go-Jump-A-Nigga-And-Get-His-Chain-Back? Man, I gotta find a way to get it 'fore Thugnificent finds out.
Riley, let the chain go. If Thugnificent wants it back, he can handle it.
Then he'll think I'm a punk and kick me out the crew!
It's just rocks and metal. It's only worth what you're willin' to give up for it. Is it worth gettin' hurt again?
Yeah-yeah! (A look of shock appears on Riley's face, and he covers his mouth.) Oh! NO!
WHOA! Kissin' a man? I mean, if it feels natural and that's what you're into, I mean... (Huey gets up and walks to the door without looking back.)
No, that don't count! That's a do-over! I didn't know you was gon' say dat!
Guess you really want that chain back. (Huey opens the door and walks out.)
NO! THE ANSWER IS NO!! (...and the door shuts.)
Come one, Ed, you gots to help me out.
Kidnapping? Uh, I don't know, Riley. My grandpops would be tripping, man. Why don't you, you know, try something different, like diplomacy for change?
Man, just snatch him up, and if the nigga don't have the chain on him, get the regulatin' him, and make him tell you where it alt.
[To a tied-up child hanging by his feet from the ceiling] Now, what I want you to do is think - just think - these two grapes, is your two little itty-bitty-kiddie testicles. [He smashes the grapes with a massive sledgehammer.]
BBoy
[crying] I don't know, I swear to God!
Don't swear to God. I talk to God all the time and God happens to be the one who told me to torture your ass, ya lyin' stealin' motherfucker. [raising the sledgehammer to take a swing at his face] You gonna tell me where that chain is, I know that!
Ed, can I talk to you outside? Please?
[Grabbing the boy's hair] Look at my face. Look at it! I'm gonna crush your little kiddie penis with this hammer when I get back, if you don't tell me where that chain is at!
BBoy
[Wailing incoherently]
Now, Ed! [Riley and Ed leave the room] That's the wrong kid, Ed! I told you to grab Butch Magnus, 5'4, 130 pounds!
Well, how was I supposed to know that was the wrong kid?
I gave you a picture, man, how hard is it to grab the right kid, Ed?
[Walking back into the room] You told me to grab a kid. I grabbed a kid. You don't like the way I do it, then do your own kidnapping. [untying the boy] You know what, that's your only freebie. You want me to kidnap anyone else, you payin' top dollar.
That's not fair, you grabbed the wrong kid!
Tough titty! [To the boy] My bad. You go ahead and leave. [As he cowers] What the fuck you lookin' all scared for, huh? I said you was free to go right? Which part of 'my bad' do you not understand? Oh, so now you wanna make this a whole big fuckin' thing, huh? Well, fuck you, then! [he lunges at the boy, to be stopped by Riley]
Woah, okay, okay, enough, man, enough!
Naw, naw, man, I'm sick of this shit, I'm tryin' to squash it, right, and this bitch-ass motherfucker still actin' like he hurt and shit. [Grabbing at the boy with every sentence] I ain't even touched this motherfucker, yet! I ain't even brushed past you yet, I ain't even make eye contact with your punk-ass! [As the boy runs away screaming] Yeah, come on over here, I'll give your bitch-ass something to cry about!
(Flonominal and Riley confront Butch at the baseball field)
FFlownominal
Butch Magnus!
(Butch turns around with his usual defiant sneer)
FFlownominal
Yeah, motherfucker! You fuck with ONE member of Lethal Interjection, you fuck'd with every last one of us! (starts forward -- Butch doesn't budge) Come try some of that tough shit with ME, you little--
(Butch slams a baseball bat into Flownominal's knee.)
FFlownominal
Oh! Man!!! (collapses)
FFlownominal
(writhing on the ground) My motherfucking' leg! Owww!
You can take this piece of shit chain! My dad had it appraised -- he said it was WORTHLESS! (throws the chain down next to Flownominal)
FFlownominal
(in agony) Oh Jesus!!! My motherfucking! Oh Jesus!
Ya broke bitch! Get a real chain! (casually walks off)
FFlownominal
My leg is broken!! Aauuughhh.... (sobs) Mother(Beeped)'... stupid ass bitch! Motherfucker... oohhhh!
(Riley picks up the chain)
(narrating) Know what? Still better than an old funky "necklace"!
(Riley walks away proudly)
FFlownominal
...punk motherfucker! (notices Riley leaving) Man, Riley! We cool, nigga! Remember?!! Come help me, Riley! We in a crew! Augghh!! (Riley doesn't even look back)
PPresenter
Shaq! Seventeen blocks from Riley, you had one. That's got to make you feel (Beeped) up!?
SShaq
It did at first, then I realized hating on Riley's superior game doesn't make my game any better, so I guess I have to work harder, step up to his level, that's what great players do, they bring the best out of everyone on the team.
PPresenter
So he's better than you?
PPresenter
And stacks more paper and get more hoes than you, nigga?
