Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
You could invite them over for dinner and get to know them...
Yeah, I... guess I could do that...
(Dream sequence)
(The Freemans are sitting, dressed up, at a candle-lit Sunday dinner. Suddenly, the door bursts open and Lethal Interjection barges in.)
Wazhappenin' nigga? Alright nigga, where da chicken wings and donuts at?!
(kicks over a chair, yelling) What the fuck you got to EAT in this bitch, NIGGA?!!!?!?
(Dream sequence ends)
Uh-ummm! THAT shit ain't happenin'.
(to Riley) Hey man, is this your brother?
Hello. Goodbye.
Yo nigga, your brother told us how you be all into reading and shit. Hey that’s some real good shit my nigga, for real. Congratulations nigga.
Did you just congratulate me for reading?
Word, oh yeah, man, you know? Good shit, homie, word, yaknamean? Ya know that reading shit, yaknamean, it's hard, son! Word, yaknamean? Word, yaknamean, especially when them books be, yaknmean? You know, real thick and heavy like, yaknamean? Word, yaknamean?
You don't know where I came from! I'm from a small town called Whup-A-Rebel's-Little-Narrow-Country-Ass, and you-HEY! Put that camera back over here! I ain't finished my damn line! Ya'll makin' me homesick! There, now stick that up yo' ass!
(The next three lines are said at the same time.)
Eat a dick, old man! You faggot-ass, punk-ass, pussy-ass nigga!
Eat it, foo'! Eat a dick, old muthafucka! Matter of fact, eat a sack of baby dicks, muthafucka!
Fuck you, bitch-ass old man! No one likes you anyway, muthafucka!
EFF GRANDDAD
(chorus)
You just mad 'cos yo' ass is old (Old motherfucker!)/ First thing you do is just pick up the phone (Snitch! Eat a dick, nigga!)/ Lethal Interjection livin' next to your home / Motherfucking Grandpa / Old nigga it's on! (Old motherfucker!)
(verse 1)
Lethal Interjection versus one old nigga / He picked up the phone / Now my finger's on the trigga / Snitchin' ain't the thing to do / So now me and my crew / Gonna show the block how to handle this fool! / He just hatin' 'cos we went from rags to riches / to baddest bitches / somebody need to ask these snitches / Why they talkin' to police? / No justice, no peace / My house is paid for / No rent, no lease!
(chorus) x 2
(verse 2)
Dis ol' man / He played foo' / Now his ass is grass for dropping dimes on my crew / The only reason that I pack a strap / Is that I knew this old nigga was foul like Hack-a-Shaq!
(verse 3)
This is the type of heat / That when they start playin' it / Old folks should get their ass whupped / For acting all gay and sh--
Old-ass NIGGA!
You done crossed the line / See, it don't cost a dime / so now I toss my nine!
(chorus)
(Granddad and Thugnificent, apparently reconciling, shake hands and hug. The press applauds)
(quietly, sourly) You still gonna pay for my lawn.
(quietly, venomously) Eat a dick, old nigga.
(Granddad is awoken by the loud music at Thugnificent's house party)
Hey!!! Shut up with all that damn noise!!!! I'm an old man, y'all need to listen to some Nat King Cole and some Johnny Mathis!!
(During a blind date who's catfished him with a phoney picture of her appearance and is eating messily) You know what? I've had it. This sucks!
What's wrong with you?
You know what's wrong with me! When was this picture taken? 1964?
You saying I don't look like my picture?
I'm saying you probably never looked like this damn picture! This ain't you!
So is that all you care about is looks?
YEEEEEESS!
Well excuse me for thinking you liked me for who I was on the inside!
Well you're a liar on the inside! This whole relationship is based on a lie! AN UGLY LIIIEEEEE!!! Why in the hell does this keep happening to me, God? What did I do to deserve this? This is payback for what? What did I do to you? Tell me!
Maybe I should leave. Nigga, you ain't no Denzel. Hell, you ain't even no Flava Flav.
Time after time after time. There ought to be a law, lock em up, charge em with fraud, I'd be snitchin' on ugly women all day, I should give em the chair, electrify their ugly asses, dry pool that switch quick!
(About the Kumite, a martial arts tournament) Good times. Yeah, good times.
The Kumite (martial arts noise) is supposed to be death match, right?
You ever kill anybody?
Hey, everybody has to die sometime.
(Luna eats her meal, while a flashback continues again)
(In the flashback, Luna is dominating the fight against her opponent)
FINISH HIM!
(Luna rips out the oversized heart of her huge opponent at a fighting tournament)
(his announcement displayed onscreen as he says it) LUNA WINS...FATALITY!
(Flashback ends)
I mean I'm like, you kill one man, you kill a dozen. It's all the the same. I mean they can only hang ya once, right? (laughs) Am I right or am I right? (laughs) C'mon now, you're leaving me hanging!
(Huey, Riley and Granddad stare at Luna, obviously terrified)
WE HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!
(quietly) *Gasps* Move it! Move it! Move! Move! Hurry! Get on! Hurry Up!
(Luna looks surprised at their sudden departure)
(Huey, Riley, and Granddad retreat to the bathroom)
Thanks for inviting a killer kung-fu wolf bitch to the crib, Granddad!
You think I knew she was a killer kung-fu wolf bitch!? She didn't say nothing about no damn Kumitie, Kumitoo, Kumite (kung-fu noise) Koom, black coon, now y'all just hush! And try to figure out what we gon' do. Huey, what we gon' do?
You gon' tell her to get the hell out!
I'm not gonna tell her to leave! She might hit me with one of them exploding nutsack techniques!
Oh, come on, Grandad. She's not a kung fu master, she's crazy!
Shit! Then you go kick her ass out!
But this is your respondiblity!
Hey, I'm willing to say in the bathroom all night!
First of all, if woman is over 35 years old and she ain't married then she must be as nutty as squirrel shit!
But everything was so right, and by everything else, I mean her looks. She was fine!
She couldn't look that good, she was black! But I guess if you put lipstick and a wig on a monkey, it could look good too!(chuckles, and says to himself) A monkey in lipstick and a wig...
(After telling Robert and Tom about the various abuse experiences she's had)
After that, I had one terrible relationship after another. I suffered every kind of abuse imaginable: Verbal...
I told you not to wash my bloody ski mask with detergent because it irritates my fucking eczema!!!!
Spiritual...
Look at ya, don't nobody want you but me. You ain't fuck without me. You without me equal shit, you understand that you ugly fat bitch. Now let me borrow your car.
...and then there was that summer I dated Jim Brown...
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
