Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
(While looking at his Myspace page) I got a date? I can't believe it!
Of course you got a date, Grandad! Everything on your page is a lie!
NO IT IS NOT!
Grandad you don't skydive, you not Brazilian, and you never was a member of G-Unit-
Mind your damn business!
-And she probably a man!
SHUT UP!
So, Ms. Wong, there you were NOT carjacking Mr. Teskinelli, beating him senseless with a nine-iron, stealing his wallet--
(As the lawyer speaks, a flashback is shown of Ms. Wong dragging a man out of his car, assaulting him with a golf club, and taking his wallet, as she says...)
Grab your wallet, bitch!
-- And driving his car into the hosiery section of the JCPenney?
(A car is seen flying and crashing into a storefront window. Two bystanders flee. End of flashback.)
Correct. (Ms. Wong gives a wink to her lawyer.)
I have no further questions.
Now Ms. Wong, let me ask you a question. (Begins convulsing as Stinkmeaner's ghost begins to take possession.)
What's good NYUKAAA?!
(Audience gasp in shock)
Gaaaah! (Covering his mouth with his hand) Oh my god.
(glaring) Excuse me Mr. Dubois?
(chuckles nervously) I said um-- (Stinkmeaner gains possession once again)
What's really good?!
(Audience laughs at Tom's retort)
(glaring) Is there something 'really good' you'd like to share with the court Mr. Dubois?
FUCK YOUR COURT, NIGGAH!
(Courtroom gasps)
Mr. Dubois!
(jumping up and down on table) FUCK...YOUR...COURT...NYUKKAH!!!
(lays on back, kicking the table) FUCK...YOUR...COURT!
(Tom covers his mouth and runs out of the courtroom)
Lady Liberty's got balls!
(Tom runs in a panic to the nearest bathroom. he gasps in panic, looks at himself in the mirror, only to see Stinkmeaner's face.)
What's good, NIGGAAA?!
(Tom screams in horror and runs out of the bathroom.)
Meanwhile , I couldn't shake the feeling that an evil force was gathering. (Huey then sees brief flashes of Stinkmeaner training in hell, and being sent back to Earth.) I must be crazy.
(Ghostface Killah's apparent Force Ghost appears to Huey) Nah, you ain't crazy. Stinkmeaner's comin' back.
But Stinkmeaner died.
What you gonna tell me, ghosts don't exist? Then what the fuck do I look like to you?
Ghostface Killah isn't even dead.
Now, you say what you want, that old crazy goofy-lookin' mothafucka is comin' back. Your granddad's nigga moment ain't dead yet.
Then what am I supposed to do? If death can't stop Stinkmeaner, what can?
Think about it. Peace. (Ghostface Killah's Force Ghost then leaves Huey.)
(humming)
Look, granddad I'm really worried about Tom.
Watch it boy, don't step on my roses!
Then why are you putting them on the floor...? But, anyway, I know this is gonna sound crazy, but I really think Stinkmeaner is...
Oh hush boy, I ain't got time for that, now it's DATE NIGHT and you know the rules, now you get in that room I don't care if u hear a scream and hear the house shake like an earthquake, YOU DON'T LEAVE...! Now get!
Honey, I'm home.
Hey honey!
(Tom's face turns menacing, as he's possessed by Stinkmeaner)
OH YEAH!.. I think I wanna have sexual relations!
Tom, what's gotten into you?
Same thing that's about to get into you!
(Later, upstairs showing their bedroom window outside)
Oh, Tom!
Oh Yeah!!! Imma make it do what it do!
(typing) Well, I'm in the studio with Snoop Doggy Dogg and Tha Pound tonight but how 'bout tomorrow cutie pie?
(Possessed Tom chopping a hole in the bathroom door)
Aaah! What the?! Who's out there?! Boys! Boys! Help me!
I'M BAAAAAAACK, NYUGGAAAAA! HAHAHAHAHA!
OH, WHAT THE HELL?! OH LORDY LORD, LORDY LORD! AHHHHHHHHHH!
What the fuck is wrong with you!? Tom! Oh lordy Lord! What the hell! Tom! What’s going on? Tom! Go away! I'm gonna call the police!
I'm gone get that old ass!
(In Huey and Riley's bedroom)
Did you hear that?
Man I can't hear nothin over granddad's gay ass music, look out, new message aww man its a old dude with his shirt off wait! That's granddad ewww, he in the bathroom, probably just ran out of toilet paper again and I ain't getting it for him neither, nope.
Why would he send a message from...
Hey
WHAT THE HELL! Tom! hats goin on! oh my goodness! Tom! What's goin here!? Oh help me son! Help me!
C'mon!
(Granddad narrowly escaping from Possessed Tom while stumbling in his speedo)
Oh my goodness! Some black people are crazy!
Oh yeah, Here comes the Pain (Throw a axe at Granddad but fall down the stairs before being sliced)
Goodness gracious! The life! (Pull up his speedo) Tom, what's wrong with you? You on that stuff? Snap out of it, Tom. Cocaine is a hell of a drug!
You don't remember ME? You don't remember my name?! (He then proceeds to punch Granddad in the face.)
What's my name, nyugga? (Tom does a low spin kick to Granddad's face.)
AAAAH!
"AAAAH" ain't my name. My mama didn't name me "AAAAH". What's my name, nyugga?! WHAT'S MY NAME?!
Stinkmeaner!
DING-DING-DING-DING! THAT'S RIGHT, NYUGGA!
Mr. Dubois...?
I don't know how you got here, Stinkmeaner, but you're going back to Hell!
Oh yeah! I'm goin’ back, and I'm takin' ya’ll with me in the first-class cabin on the Ass-Whuppin' Express! All aboard! WHOO WHOO!
You ain't too little to get that ass whooped! Bring it on, Huey.
(fighting)
All right here we go. (Chop Huey in the neck) Is that all you got? HAHAHAHA! (The Freemans is unconscious) GET DEM UP, GET YOUR BALLS UP, NIGGA!
Well Hello, Cutie Pie!
Well! Hello! (Hmmhmmhmm)
Robert Freeman! You up there, you bitch nigga! Where are you Robert?
With all of the woman in my culture...
Come here and fight like a man, you fat-ass nigga!
Who's that?
Uh, nothing!
(muffled) I know you can hear me, Robert! I know you hear me! I will not be ignored! I'm right up here!
Ain't this a bitch? Got a possessed nigga up here, and Granddad's worried about his date!
(breaks free from the handcuff on his right arm) Ah-hah! Get off me! You've got a date Robert? Did you tell her you have two sets of genitals! A vagina and a coochie! Oh, that's a conjunction! A vagina and a coochie!
What is going on?
Oh, th-that? that's just the television. Eh, boys, turn the television down!
This ain't no TV show, nigga! This is real talk, nigga!
Uhh! My friends warned me that there were weirdoes on MySpace!
Wait! No! That's just the TV!
It's not the fact that you obviously have a man possessed by an evil spirit, strapped to a bed upstairs!
It's not?
No. It's the fact that you lied about it!
May white god bless you Robert, I came as fast I could.
So this is the plan, Uncle Ruckus.
Let's get this party started.
Oh Yeah! You got bad credit, Robert!
Removing a evil nigga spirits from a negro is harder then removing stank from a huck of shit. We must use these tools that the Great God gave us to fight niggas; a whip, a noose, a nightstick, a branding iron! These things strike fear into a nigga's heart. A job application! Avoid conversation with the nigga. The nigga will lie. The nigga will excuse. He will use words that he don't know, if he get desperate he may started to rap or dance.
You all... testicle, and no shaft. What happen to your shaft, Robert!
Oh yeah. There powerful evil niggatry at work here.
HAHAHAHA!!!
(Ruckus open and enter Huey and Riley room along with the Freemans)
Who in the hell are you?
Nigga, My name is Reverend Father Uncle Ruckus [No relation]. And the name White Jesus and all the great white man who have come here after. I command the black nigga soul back from the death of hell.
(laughing) Is that all you got, nigga?
Oh, no, nigga. That's just the tip of this iceberg. (opens the Bible and shoves it in Possessed Tom's face) Read, nigga, read!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! (bed begins to levitate)
[while Riley, Grandad, and Ruckus are performing exorcism] Oh, this gonna be fun, this gonna be comical! Haha, you gonna tickle me with a belt? Come on, give it to me! You just tickling me! Hahaha! Imma' join in too! Imma' join in too! "Nigga! Get yo black ass out of there!". Aw, you niggas ain't shit! Your mothers ain't shit!
(reviving) Uh-uh- w-what am I doing on Riley's bed?
You know, that's a real good question! What are you doing in my bed?! All the beds in this house and I got the possessed nigga in my bed! Ain't this a bitch! Some ol' bullshit!
[gesturing to his hometown], "Now, this right here, is where I grew up. I seen everything, man, everything. I seen a nigga get killed right over there, you know? They beat him up, stomped him, shot the dude, stomped the nigga again, and then I seen 'em take a dump on the dude. I swear to god, man, they actually, like, shot a deuce on this nigga, man! They shat on a nigga, man! And I started thinking to myself; 'Man...what'd he do to make them niggas that mad?'.
(Looking at Thugnificent's extravagant mansion)
Looks like someone threw a million dollars into the monkey cage at the zoo...
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
