Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[The fly lands on the counter top.]
Oh. You wanna rest there for a minute, Mr. Fly? Okay, that's cool. [Takes an umbrella] It's a comfy counter top, isn't it? [Raises the umbrella] Don't mind me. I'm not gonna kill you with an umbrella or anything. It's just that today's weather forecast calls for DEATH!!! [Accidentally breaks off a piece of the counter top with the umbrella] Aw! Dang it! [Picks up the piece] You made me break the counter top!
I was reading this Bible.
This is a Mexican cookbook.
We can still learn from it.
[Notices the broken piece of the counter top] How'd the counter get broken?
Some lady came and–
[Takes the umbrella, realizes] You were trying to kill the fly!
Flies like to die.
[Carly grunts at Spencer. Spencer takes the umbrella from Carly and grunts back at her.]
It's a natural pose.
Of course it is. I do this all the time, don't you, Carls?
Yeah, I find it both natural and not stupid-looking.
Nora (Danielle Morrow): I don't think you guys will watch this cuz you probably get a bajillion emails a day, but if you are...iCarly is my life.
(sing-songy) I see a girlfriend for Freddie!
I don't wanna go to Nora Dirshlitt's lame birthday party!
That girl has a sad life!
So does Freddie! We can't fix the world!
When do we go to the bathroom?
That is up to your bladder.
Do girls have bladders?
No, we store pee in our feet.
[Gibby knocks on the door.]
[Opens the door] Just a moment! [Opens the door to see that Gibby has arrived holding his sleeping bag] Gibster, what up, little weirdo?
Not much. [Makes his way inside] Carly here?
Nah, she just left with Freddie and Sam for Webicon. You can catch 'em if you hurry down–
No, I don't need to catch 'em. Just wanted to return this sleeping bag. I don't need it anymore. [Throws Spencer the sleeping bag. Spencer catches it] You should probably wash that.
[Spencer throws the sleeping bag on the chair.]
Don't you need that for camp?
Nah, I just found out I'm too old for camp.
Too old?
Yeah, once you turn 15, they won't let you go anymore.
Aw. Well, I know how you feel. I remember when they said I wasn't allowed to go to camp anymore.
'Cause you were too old?
No.
[Beat]
So if you can't go to camp, what are you gonna do?
I don't know. [Sits down on the couch] Sit home, take a bath, watch reruns of Diff'rent Strokes.
Hey. [Closes the door] How would you like to go to camp right here in this apartment?
[Surprised] What you talking about, Spencer?
[Takes a phone] I'm gonna call your mom and tell her you can come to Camp Spencer right here for the next few days.
[Gibby stands up.]
What do you say to that? [Starts to make a call]
[Excited] I say "Dy-no-mite!"
You watch a lot of classic TV?
[Confused] What do you mean?
[Spencer resumes making a call.]
Yay, a clown!
Yeah, he's 87 years old and his name's Cramps!
[Spencer is looking at the broken countertop when he hears a knock on the door.]
Come in!
[Comes into the apartment wearing a backpack and a lanyard and holding two pillows] Hello, fellow camper!
Hey, Gib. Where's your mom?
She dropped me off. [Closes the door]
Aw. She didn't wanna come up and see me?
Nope.
Okay. [Sees the lanyard on Gibby's neck] Whoa! Nice lanyard. [Takes a look at the lanyard]
Thanks. Made it at camp last year.
Shut up!
True chiz!
Awesome!
[Takes off his backpack and puts it down on the couch] So what's our first camp activity?
Uh– I was gonna plan some stuff, but then I got stuck working on this countertop all day– [Picks up the piece of the countertop and shows it to Gibby] –and it's still not fixed.
No problem. Let's fix the countertop together, then start camp.
[Puts down the piece] Who's awesome?
Gibby!
Yeah!
[Spencer and Gibby high five.]
I'm really sorry your clown had an aneurysm.
I'm sorry he had an aneurysm while I was dancin' with him.
If you just heard a large crack, that was my heart breaking.
[Gibby sits on a chair backwards sipping from a bottle while Spencer paints glue on the piece of the countertop.]
[Puts down the bottle] Spence. I don't mean to be rude, but– [Angrily] –I've been sittin' here for two hours doing NOTHING!
I know, I'm sorry.
[Stands up] You said this would be like camp. How long is it gonna take you to fix that countertop?
[Finishes painting glue on the piece of the countertop] It's done. [Puts the paintbrush on top of the bucket]
It is?
I just applied the lacquer. [Puts down the cloth] Now, I test it– [Picks up the bottle] –by setting this bottle right here on the previously broken corner. [Puts down the bottle on the piece of the countertop]
Nice work!
Thanks!
Time for camp?
Yep. [Picks up the bottle, but the glue has glued the piece of the countertop to the bottom of the bottle] I was thinkin' we could start with– [Realizes that the glue has glued the piece of the countertop to the bottom of the bottle and gets exasperated]
Maybe you should've waited longer for it to dry.
Really? [Shrugs]
[Spencer is drilling under the bottom of the countertop while Gibby eats a banana while swinging his lanyard.]
[Angrily] You really gotta take the whole countertop off?
Yeah, I told you, I need to set it on its side so I can epoxy the corner back on and secure it with clamps 'till the epoxy dries.
And then, we get to do camp stuff?
I promise. Now come on and help me lift the counter off.
[Gibby puts down his lanyard and banana on the table.]
On lift.
[Spencer and Gibby grab both sides of the countertop.]
Can I help you?
[Too shocked to see Nora face to face] Uh, yeah. My name is Gibby.
Oh yes. I recognize you from your appearances on ICarly.
Thanks, The show's a lot of fun. Anyway, I was wondering do you have Carly, Sam and Freddie trapped here?
[Lying under suspicion] No. Good day.
Wait! are you sure they're not here?
[irate and impatient] Yes, there is no one in my basement.
[in a suspicious tone] I didn't say anything about your basement.
[pauses for a moment and became fearful] NO ONE SEES THE WIZARD! [she then slams the door]
Okay. No problem. I'll just– GO AWAAAAY! [crashes through Nora's front door]
[screams in pure fright and rage] GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!!
WHERE ARE MY FRIENDS?!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
