His last words were, "Why, Miles, why?"
His name's Oliver. (Miranda laughs)
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
She's a very sophisticated woman. I can't have her thinking I spend my time hanging with teenagers doing goofy stuff!
That's like, all you do!
Yeah, but I can't have her thinking that! She wears pantyhose!
[As Gibby, who is sitting on a chair, puts on his sock, Carly picks up a bean bag chair and throws it aside. She picks up two water bottles.]
Hey, Carly.
Yeah?
Um– [Points on his foot] –is it weird if a guy grows hair between his toes?
Why? Do you?
No.
[Runs in] Carly! Did you see Sam's email?
No, what email?
She's in jail!
[Gibby stands up.]
What? What happened?
[Shows Carly something on his phone] She was at the jiffy mart, buying a snack, and a guy cut in front of her. So she shoved a hot chili dog down his pants, and it turns out the guy was an ambassador from Mexico.
[Groans angrily] Sam! So then what happened?
He yelled– [Speaks in Spanish] "Los frijoles calientes quema mis pantalones! Ohhhhh!"
No! I mean, with Sam!
[Speaks in English] Oh. Uh, the cops showed up and took her down to juvie.
[Carly groans angrily.]
Her mom's on her way there, but Sam says there's no way she's getting out till tomorrow.
So you're canceling iCarly?
Well, I don't see how we're gonna be able to do the show–
No, we're not canceling iCarly. We've never canceled the show, and my dad's watching it live tonight for the first time.
[Confused] I thought Spencer was your dad.
[Annoyed] Gibby!
Well, how are we gonna do the show without Sam?
[Gets an idea] Spencer!
[As Carly and Freddie run out of the studio, Gibby picks up scissors, sits down on the chair, and takes off his sock.]
Normal, here I come. [Starts cutting hair between his toes]
(talking very fast) Freddie says "In 5, 4, 3, 2…", then points at us, then we introduce the show. Then after that we go to that wheel over there and do a bit called "Put that in your man purse", which you don't know about but just play along and you'll figure it out as we go.
Why doesn't Freddie say "in five, four, three, two, one"?
No one knows!
I know.
No one cares! Now hurry, take your jacket and glasses off!
But I look so sophisticated.
This is iCarly! We don't do sophisticated! (slaps Spencer lightly)
[Gibby comes downstairs. He walks over to the sink, turns on the water, and starts washing his mouth out as Candace, who is sitting at the table, watches on. Gibby picks up the nozzle and uses it to wash his mouth. He puts down the nozzle and turns off the water. Gibby picks up the cloth and uses it to wipe his mouth. He puts down the cloth, then takes off his shirt and throws it down.]
[Notices Candace] 'Sup?
CCandace
Hi.
[As Gibby goes upstairs, Candace sits looking confused.]
[Spencer runs out of the studio. He passes by Gibby, who is buttoning his new shirt while walking into the studio.]
Okay, after the wet hair thing, play a couple more clips while I set up for "Hey, what am I licking?"
'Kay.
Who's gonna be the licker?
You. [Pulls Gibby away]
[Excited] Awesome!
CCandace
What is going on here?!
Uh-oh! Baby was worried This would happen!
CCandace
Spencer?
[own voice] Could you give me Like five minutes And I'll be right down?
CCandace
I've been waiting almost a half-hour down there, by myself! And what is all this anyway?
It's a live web show, and we refuse To break character!
Who is this woman?! Off with her head!
If her head does come off, might I please eat it?
So...YOU took my bullhorn!
No...no! See, Sam was the one who-
(grabs Freddie, drags him and yells into her bullhorn) COME WITH ME!
LOUD!
Do you see anything?
Just trees. And some bushes... and two squirrels wrestling!
... Carly...
Yeah?
They're not wrestling...
... Oh...
Hey, did you see those squirrels?
(very quickly) Don't talk about it!
I don't think a 7-foot beastman is gonna be afraid of a 160-pound spazzy artist.
At least the fall made the water come out off my ear... and some blood.
Ohhhhhhh, it hurts!
What?
The sound of Freddie talking!
*pulls off Dr. Van Gurbin's Bigfoot mask*
VGDr. Van Gurbin
Hey!
Dr. Van Gurbin?
Well, this is a Scooby Doo moment.
VGDr. Van Gurbin
I'm so sorry. See, my book wasn't selling well, and my dad always told me I would be a failure.
Your dad was right.
So you dressed up like Bigfoot just to create hype?
VGDr. Van Gurbin
Yes. So people would buy my new book. [takes out his book] Bigfoot.
[Sam smacks the book out off his hands]
VGDr. Van Gurbin
I had that coming.
[Spencer is making a sandwich.]
[Spreads mayo on the sandwich] Little mayyyyyo. [Squeezes mustard on the sandwich] Some mustarrrrrd. [Puts turkey breast on the sandwich] Some turkey breastess. [Swats away a fly, then puts a slice of tomato on the sandwich] Slice of tomato. [Swats away the fly, then takes out a piece of lettuce] A little iceberg– [Uses the piece of lettuce to swat at the fly] –off the port bow. [Puts the piece of lettuce on the sandwich, then swats at the fly] Back off, jerk! [To Carly, who is upstairs] Carly! Where's the fly swatter?
[From upstairs] I threw it away.
Why?
[From upstairs] 'Cause it's not nice to kill things.
[To Carly] Oh, yeah, I guess you're right. [To the fly] I'm gonna kill you so hard. [Accidentally sweeps the food off the table]
[From upstairs] What are you doing?
[To Carly] Nothing! Just reading the Bible! This pharaoh guy's really giving Moses a hard time.
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