And now, since I drank five sodas before we started tonight, I must go pee.
Sam!
You want my bladder to explode live on the internet?
Ew, no.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[To the European swimsuit model] Yurgin, you glued her hair to her feet.
YYurgin
[nods] Yes.
Well, do women in your country have hair on their feet?
YYurgin
[nods sheepishly] ...Yes...
[to the European swimsuit models] Everybody! This is America, so the women's hair goes on their head...
SMSwimsuit models
[nodding] Ohhhhh!
VVooshnod
Guyz! The photographer is here! Turn up the muzic now!
You got that on video?
No.
Then I didn't do it.
Why are we in trouble?!
Stop asking that!
No fudge balls were harmed during this web show.
Yeah, they were.
Oh, right, a man sat on them.
I've been fired.
SFSam and Freddie
What?! Why?!
Dude, we gotta stop doing that...
Hi, guys.
Hey, Gibby.
How's it going?
Bad. Mr. Howard just gave me detention.
For what?
For being too "Gibby".
How can you be too "Gibby"?
That's what I said! But, you know, not everybody gets me.
Oh, I get you, Gibby. I get you like a rash. The question is how do I get rid of you?
Baby powder?
That's double detention.
But baby powder gets rid of rashes!
Triple detention!
VOLCANO!!! [vomits in a nearby trash can]
You wanna buy a donut?
No, we're having a meeting.
Why'd you stick the donuts on that way?
What you saying?
Well, they're donuts, they have a hole right in the middle.
But you put the stick through the sides.
Man. This is embarrassing.
[After Carly, Sam, Freddie, and Principal Franklin finish talking]
You wanna buy a doughnut? [angrier, to Carly, Sam, and Freddie] I fixed 'em.
Ugh, I can't believe school's actually gotten worse.
Shh.
Be quiet.
[sulkily] I don't wanna be quiet! I hate these clothes! Wearing blue and khaki makes me feel like a nub! [to Freddie] No offense to you and all the other nubs in the world.
[warns Sam] You shouldn't criticize the dress code out loud.
Why? It's not like they're gonna hear me, and how come I gotta--
Sam Puckett, to the principal's office!
Huh? Why?
I heard you.
[Carly and Freddie look at Sam with an "I TOLD YOU SO" face]
You wipe that look off your face!
This isn't a look! It's just my face!
Well, you should get your money back.
(grabs Freddie by the shoulder) Okay, we've gotta get Principal Franklin his job back!
Shhhhhh! Don't say that--
Carly Shay, to the principal's office!
Coming! (to Freddie) I'm so scared!
(walks up to Gibby and pats him) Freddie's gotcha...
(after Principal Franklin is given his job back)
Okay, you have no idea how psyched we are that you're back.
You are in big trouble, Carly! And so are you two! I was very clear yesterday when I told you that I did not want you-(Carly interrupts him) What, what?
He's gone!
(long pause) ...I love you guys. (the four start cheering and hi-fiving each other)
(runs into the hall shirtless) YEAH! YEAH, UH-HUH! (the four look at him oddly, and the episode ends as they continue hi-fiving)
[Marissa vaccums Freddie's left ear while he is sleeping, causing him to wake up, grab the vaccum cleaner tube from her, and get up.]
[To his mother] [Enraged] Mom! You tried to vacuum my ear while I was sleeping?!
Please let me finish!
No. You treat me like a child and I'm not gonna put up with it anymore.
What does that mean?
I'M MOVING OUT! [Throws down the vaccum cleaner tube and storms out of the Shay apartment]
[Runs out after her son] Freddie! Freddie!
[screams so loud in anxiety due to her losing her temper] “T-BO!” [Her screaming ends up scaring T-Bo]
[drops smoothie; angrily] What?!
[She then stops screaming] We want a table that's as far away from them as possible! [indicates Carly and Dave]
[still angry] Have I ever cared where you sat?!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.