[to Carly] If I go to your apartment, your brother's gonna want to tase me.
Nah, I've been tased before... It's not so bad.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[to Griffin] Why don't you go steal something and go, "Duh, I stole something?"?
I may be an idiot... but I'm not stupid.
[greeting Carly and Sam] Buenos dias, muchacha-latas.
Freddie, we need your opinion.
And if you can, try not to make it stupid.
Sam... What would you think of someone who... collects Pee Wee babies?
I don't know, depends. How old is she?
Aw, man!
What?
"She"?! Why'd you have to say "she?!"
What is going on here?
"She" is... Griffin.
Oh...
[raises fists in triumph] YES!!!!! OHHHH YEAAAAAAH!!!!! HA HA HA!!!!!
It's NOT funny!
It's kinda funny...
So you gonna break up with him?
I don't know. I don't wanna be a terrible person. Should I just keep dating him?
Why not? Hey, maybe you can double date. You know, you, him, Willy the Walrus and Peggy the Penguin...
Peter the Penguin. Maybe I should wear a bunny suit on our next date!
He'd probably ask you to marry him!
Then we can honeymoon on Pee Wee Island!
[The two giggle just as Griffin enters the studio, unamused]
Real funny.
GRIFFIN! [makes shocked sound] I... I didn't know you were there!
You were making fun of my Pee Wee Babies! What, you don't think Pee Wee Babies are cool?
Well, I just thought you were a different kind of guy.
What kind?
The kind that doesn't collect Pee Wee Babies?
Okay, look. If you can't accept my hobby, then maybe we should break up.
[Carly does not answer]
Well?
[Carly is about to say something, but then she imagines Pee Wee Babies circling over Griffin's head]
PWPee Wee Babies
Whee!
PPeter
Don't break up with us, Carly!
CCrab
Love us!
JJaguar
We can all get married!
FFrog
And honeymoon on pee wee island!
PPeter
The sand on the beach is made of sugar!
PWPee Wee Babies
Whee! Whee!
[Disturbed, Carly hesitates and says nothing to Griffin]
You know what? Forget it. We're over. [leaves]
Dude, he's walkin' out.
[relieved] Yeah...!
[about Sam being paranoid] And last year you were sure Gibby was a mermaid.
He hates wearing shirts! Coincidence?
I feel like butt! (coughs) Remember that time you dared me to lick the swing set?
No, I said, "Sam, don't lick the swing set," and you said, "Don't tell me what to do, Benson," and then you licked the swing set.
[about the expiration date of a box of chocolates] I can't read this. It's written in... foreign.
Well, I looked it up, it says 1992. That chocolate's older than the Fresh Prince of Bel Air!
What are you doing?! (swats a piece of Persian chocolate out of Sam's hand)
Having a piece of Persian chocolate.
You said it was a stomach bomb!
But it's so good. (she tries to take another, but Carly swats that out too)
...Why did I pick THAT for my ringtone?!
Hello? Chuck? Are you down there? [he enters the basement] There you are.
Hi, daddy.
AAH! Ah, thank god you're here! Your son, he trapped me and kept me locked in here for the past two days!
Did not!
You did too! [to Mr. Chambers] And he squirted me with fluids!
Is that true?
No.
[sternly] Chuck.
Yeah...
[straightforward] YEAH!
Okay, that's it. You're grounded.
DAD!
No arguments! You come with me right now.
(laughs triumphantly) Who's grounded now, Chucky? Whoops, you are!
Those dingo people are dead!
What are we going to do?
We're gonna go find them and kick them in their Dingoes!
Okay, next person who says bowels sleeps in the bathtub!
HHollywood
BOWELS! I got the bathtub!
No! No, no, no, no, no-no, no. (she runs and closes the window shades)
Okay, let's shake 'em up.
What is that?
A sock full of butter.
For what?
For swinging! I can brain an elephant with this thing!
We're not gonna go in there and start hitting TV writers with a big buttery sock! We're gonna be professional and firm.
Fine, but if they deny stealing from iCarly, I'm gonna get swingy with this thing!
Not unless I say it's okay.
What else would you keep in a cryogenic freezer like that?
Cryogenic frozen pizzas?
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