(Gibby throws coffee in Spencer's face)
What was that about?!
Well, Carly said, "If Spencer tries to be lazy, throw a cup of water in his face to perk him up."
Right. Well, THAT WAS HOT COFFEE!
Oh, well can I have a cup of water?
NO!
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
DMr. Devlin
The important thing is to be proud of yourself. You need to face the world with shoulders cocked, and say, "I AM FREDDIE BENSON, AND I HAVE NEVER KISSED A GIRL!" [other students start laughing] Hey, there! Stop that! Stop laughing at this unfortunate misfit!
You are gonna start with building up some muscle.
I have muscle.
Do you?
Yes.
Then take off your shirt and jump up and down.
I don't wanna.
Why not?
'Cause I'll jiggle.
Hey, sorry I'm late!
[filling the bowl with meatballs without looking up] You're always late.
So? It's cool. The show doesn't start for 3 more minutes. Where's Fred-weird?
Freddie's not coming.
What? Okay, he stayed home from school all week, he missed two iCarly rehearsals, and now he's gonna miss the show? That's so unprofessional. [takes a bite out of a meatball and puts it back]
You really hurt him. Every time he leaves the house, he gets teased cause you told the whole world he's never kissed anyone. You know he won't even talk to his mom? He just sits on the fire escape, alone, 'cause he's too embarrassed to see anyone. [walks over to Freddie's tech cart] You, like, ruined his whole life, and you don't even care.
Alright. I'll go apologize.
It doesn't even matter if you apologize. Kids are still gonna give him a hard time, 'cause you can't take back what you said.
Look, I didn't m--
[interrupts Sam] You went too far this time! And you can't fix it. [phone beeps] We gotta start the show.
[depressed] Well how can I do the show now that you made me feel all depressed?
I dunno just get in front of the camera and do it. In 5-4-3-2--
[on iCarly]
And now, what you've all been waiting for...
Carly and I are about to have our very first...
CSCarly and Sam
MEATBALL WAR!
We got our slingshots.
And a hundred meatballs!
But, um... before we start our meatball war... I wanna say something. [stops music] On the last iCarly... I told you guys that Freddie never kissed anyone. And that was really personal, and I shouldn't have said it on the show. And for all you people out there who've been teasing Freddie about it, lay off, because I bet a whole lot of you haven't kissed anyone either; Including me. Yeah. That's right, I've never kissed anyone. So if you want to tease someone about it, tease me...which is a bad idea unless you live near a hospital!
Um, our meatball war will be happening soon, but for now, please enjoy this photo of a man with shrimp up his nose.
[makes short laughing type noise]
What?
Nothing it's--
Tell me!
Nah, it's dumb.
Say it!
Okay. I was gonna say...
That we should kiss?
[looking down in embarrassment] You're going to break my arm now, right?
[shakes head] No.
Well...should we? Just so both of us can get it over with?
Hm. Just to get it over with.
Just to get it over with.
And you swear we both go right back to hating each other as soon as it's over with.
Oh, totally, and we never tell anyone.
Never. [pause] Well, lean.
[Freddie sighs, then he and Sam kiss]
Well, that was..
Nice.
Yeah, nice, uh.
Good work.
Thank you. You, too.
[Sam turns around to leave]
Hey. [Sam turns back around. Freddie smiles] I hate you.
[Makes short laugh noise. Smiles] Hate you, too. [Leaves]
[Sam grabs Freddie by the collar]
I don't play to get even. [jerks Freddie towards her] Mama plays to win.
Okay, you're lying. What makes you lie?
I'm not lying.
Yeah, you are. Feel like a big boy, telling your big boy lies?
Spencer!
Yes, little Larry Lies-a-Lot?
Are you ready, Nevel?
[sarcastically] Yes, my heart is pounding.
Good, maybe it'll explode.
I didn't come here to be insulted.
(Interrupting Freddie) Wait a minute... why do you have that printed out?
Because I like to print things.
No... you'd only print that out if you knew you were gonna need it.
Yeah. How did you know there was gonna be a problem getting you the car?
Oh, please. I don't have time to be interviewed.
Okay, so where's our couch?
YOU KNOW THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN COUCHES, OKAY?!
What?
I don't know...
I suspected as much. I figured you iCarlys would try and pull a fast one!
Who still says "pull a fast one"?
What's wrong with you, Nevel?! Why is your lifelong dream to get rid of iCarly?!
It's not. My lifelong dream is to open my own haberdashery.
What is a haberdashery?
Oh, why does EVERYONE ask that?! [starts to walk off, but goes back to them and talks fast] ...A haberdashery is a men's retail shop that sells men's accessories such as wallets, hats, buttons, belts, ribbons, and zippers!
...I know that look. That's your thinking look.
Oh, I'm thinking. You thinking?
Yeah, I'm thinking we thinking the same thing?
We are, if we're thinking about a way to give Nevel a vehicle that's never been state registered and can go 25 miles an hour.
Oh... no. I was thinking about fried chicken.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.