CARLY! CARLY, COME DOWN HERE! CARLY! CARLY!
Spencer, it's 6:00 in the morning.
I know, but I've got big news!
I can't take you seriously when you're wearing duck pajama pants. (Spencer pulls down his pants) Duck boxers?
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
...But wait. The fudge balls aren't free.
No, but when you subtract the cost of the fudge balls from the money our fans sent us, we still make $541 in profit. And Spencer wins the bike for the little sunshine girl.
...But wait. What do we do with the money?
Well, we get to keep $541, and Sam owes us $526, so we give Sam the $526, and then she can pay us back and quit her stupid job.
...But wait.
Stop saying "But wait"!
Sam's not gonna take the money from us.
Why wouldn't she?
It's a pride thing. It's why she won't quit her job. If we just give her the money, she won't feel like she really paid us back.
Yeah. Okay, how about this?
Yeah?
We find some adult that Sam doesn't know.
Okay.
And we give him the $526 and then he gives the money to Sam as a tip at the restaurant.
That's brilliant.
Isn't it?
...But wait.
WHAT?!
That leaves an extra $15.
Yeah, $5 for me, $5 for Sam and $5 for you; Go nuts!
[looking at his ribs in the form of a necklace] You ate my ribs?
I made the bones into a necklace! [Spencer lifts the bones out of the Styrofoam to see she did just that]
Morning, girls. Check me out.
What?
[lifts up shirt] No belt. And look-- [lifts up pants] Open-toed shoes.
[sarcastically] Wow, you're an animal.
But I thought your mom always makes you wear a belt, and never lets you wear open-toed shoes.
Yeah, but since she's been taking care of Lewbert, I can pretty much do whatever I want. Last night? Slept with my socks on.
So?
Just my socks.
[crunchy cheese snack pieces fall out of her mouth in shock]
[Spencer spills his soda on the bell to put out a small fire he caused after he fixed it. Mrs. Benson walks in]
Hello, Spencer.
Hi, Mrs. Benson.
Any word on how Lewbert's doing?
He's ok. I've got the kids keeping an eye on him.
Well, I think it's very nice that you're covering for Lewbert until he's feeling better. [Mrs. Benson puts her hand on the desk] Why is this counter wet and sticky?
Oh, well--
[stammers]
Wet and sticky is very icky. Sticky and wet makes mommy upset.
I don't know how to respond to that.
[the CB radio makes noise]
CRCB Radio
--come back.
What is that?
Oh, it's an old C.B. Radio. I found it back there with Lewbert's stuff. I just plugged it in and it works great.
A C.B. Radio. Like the kind that truck drivers use to talk to each other?
Yeah, you wanna try?
No!
Oh, come on. It's really fun. All you do is just press this-- [Mrs. Benson interrupts him]
I don't like wireless transceivers. [She walks upstairs]
Hello, all you truckers out there. This is the doorman looking for someone to jaw with. [Rock N' Rodney replies back]
RRodney
Hey, hey there, doorman! You got Rock N' Rodney on this end, come on back.
Well, hey, they’re Rock N' Rodney. I'm new to the CB Radio world and I was just-- [suddenly the fire he put out comes back and he puts down the speaker] HOW?!
Quit that!
What if I don't?!
[Mr. Chambers enters the lobby]
Hey, hey! What's going on?
Is he your son?
Yeah.
Well, he's been playing a racquetball in here even though I keep telling him to knock it off.
That's it. You're grounded.
Yeah! [Chuck angrily climbs up on the counter and attacks him until Mr. Chambers pulls him away] Get him off me!
[threateningly] I'LL GET YOU!
Have fun (being) locked in your room!
LLewbert
THIS AIN'T TOMATO JUICE!
Then, what is it?
LLewbert
...Uh, nothing.
Come on, Mrs. Benson. It'll be fun. [talks to his battery-powered hat] What's that? I think I hear Tokyo calling Toki-you.
Come with us to Japan. You love sushi.
I suppose it would be nice to try a California roll from where it all started.
Here, let me see. [checking at the plane tickets] [little shock and surprise] Okay, great, these are first-class tickets. I can just trade these for five coach seats and we're all set.
[sighs] All right, so if we're all going to Japan, there's lots of preparations to be done. We'll need passports, fresh underwear, a voltage converter for your night light.
I don't need the night light anymore. [to Marissa] So you're sure the night light will work in Japan?
We'll make sure. [they head into their apartment]
Man, she's a piece of work.
They don't wanna know.
My mom is a nutcase.
Uh, you're just now figuring that out?
Hey. We gotta be at the airport in 45 minutes.
I better finish packing.
What are those, snacks?
Uh-huh.
"Fat Cakes?"
These are Low-Fat Fat Cakes.
Whoa! That was intense.
Hey, your collar broke.
Oh, yeah! At least now I don't have to worry about…(The collar shocks him in his hand) [screams] [breaks the collar in two]
I think Freight Dog threw our luggage out of the plane.
What makes you think that… [luggages fall down from the plane]
The Fat Cakes are okay.
Hey, did anybody see my red backpack come down? [Fred's backpack hits Marissa Benson] Oh!
Okay, I think that's everything.
Wait, so when do we perform?
[Crowd laughs]
And why was that funny?
[crowd laughs]
HHost
You already won.
Wait, what?
HHost
The winners for best web comedy show is: iCarly!
[Crowd goes berserk]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.