[picks up plastic bag] What's this?
Bag of dog hair.
Whoa! [drops bag]
Where'd you get a bag of dog hair?
I stopped by that pet grooming place down the street.
Shampoodles?
Uh-huh.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Hey, I thought you were Freddie.
If anyone else said that to me, I'd punch them in the mouth.
My mom told me I couldn't go out unless my room was clean, so I locked the door, snuck out the window, and took a bus here... Got any meat?
This has nothing to do with Consuela!
Yes, it does! And I'm not leaving this room until you-- (sparks come out of the computer) AH! I'm going downstairs! (she runs, the computer sparks again, she screams and she goes out the door)
Carly... (sparks come out again) AHHHH!
Gary Wolf is so gorgeous.
Why does he have to be a senior? A hot, hot senior?
I did what you said. I shaved, I took a shower, I mailed that movie back to Webflix, I-
[The elevator opens to reveal Sasha Striker]
Who's the girl in the sexy purple tank top?
SSasha
I hear you're really good. So why don't you beat me?
Oh, you don't think I can, do you?
SSasha
I know you can't. But I like a challenge.
You know, I feel scared and attracted to you at the same time.
Are you guys gonna make out, or play some Pak-Rat?
STOP WATCHING THE VIDEO GAME CHANNEL, YA BIG BUNCH OF LOSERS! YOU'RE WASTING YOUR LIVES! GET A JOB, KISS A GIRL, DO SOMETHING! (to the news reporter) No offense.
SSasha
Nice game.
Thanks. Back atcha.
SSasha
You wanna go for a ride?
I would love to. [sees Carly, Sam, and Freddie looking at him] But, this is all I can give you right now. [kisses Sasha]
SSasha
[steps on the elevator] Call me.
We'll see.
(Carly is sleeping on the Pak-Rat machine after having played it all night)
Carly? Carls? Hey?
(sleepy) Hmmmmmm?
Did you play Pak-Rat all night?
Mm-hmm. It's so fun.
Yeah. Alright, kiddo. Go on up to bed.
Carry me. (he does) It's such a fun game.
I know.
Oh, man. I got another of those chain letter e-mails from Gibby.
Well, you better forward it, or you'll have all kinds of bad luck, just like Freddie did.
Freddie didn't have any bad luck.
What are you talking about?
I did all that stuff.
What? Wait. His bike falling apart?
I loosened some bolts.
His laptop smoking?
Shorted out the battery.
The pink shorts?
One red sock in his washing machine.
Okay, what about the spider on his face?
That was just lucky.
Hey.
Hi. I gotta tell you something.
You're gonna tell me that there was no bad luck? That Sam did all that stuff to me?
How'd you know?
Well, I didn't know when it was my pink shorts and my laptop, but I saw her loosening the bolts on my bike.
But I thought your bike fell apart while you were riding it?
Nope. I just pretended on that one.
So, you're not gonna try to get her back?
You mean, do something devious, like send her a fake text message that looked like it came from Gary Wolf, telling her to meet him at the Crown Ridge Mall?
[chuckles in disbelief] I didn't know you could be so bad.
You squished my trackpad finger!
That's not something a cool person says.
I don't care! [to Sam] So are you gonna pay us back or what?
I was until I realized how much it'd be.
How much do you have?
Let's see. [reaches into pocket] I've got... 14 bucks... a double A battery... some string, a fork, and... I think that's an olive.
The olive's moving.
[grabs a fire extinguisher and bangs the table for a while] ... I got it.
Are you having some kind of lip seizure?
I'm trying to blend coconut lip gloss and pineapple lip gloss to create a Piña Colada flavor. [rubs lips together] I realize this isn't attractive.
Actually, it kinda is. So, does it taste like Piña Colada?
You wanna find out?
Yes!
(reading a text message) "Sam did nothing wrong. She didn't do the thing you're mad about. She's not that kind of... girf."
Girf?
Girl!
Well, you wrote girf!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.