So, how come nothing ever happened between you and Nina? [suspicious] Is there a problem with her? Is she a man?
Are you?
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
whispering Look, we are gonna settle this right now! I demand reparations! I should get to sleep with Elaine. That's the only way to punish you!
That doesn't punish me. It punishes Elaine! And cruelly, I might add.
You went to the coffee shop without me? I told ya, I just wanted to hop in the shower.
That was an hour ago. What were you doing in there?
Showering. How long does it take you?
Ten minutes.
Ten minutes? That's kooky talk. Hey Elaine, how long do you spend in the shower?
Ten minutes.
Let me smell you.
All right. Whiff away.
[after delicately sniffing Elaine] Uh... that's not bad at all.
So she coughed.
Coughing? Naked? It's a turn-off, man.
Everything goes with naked.
When you cough there are thousands of unseen muscles that suddenly spring into action. It's like watching that fat guy catch a cannonball in his stomach in slow motion.
You spoiled, spoiled man. You know how much mental energy I expend just trying to picture women naked?
But the thing you don't realize is that there's good naked and bad naked. Naked hair brushing - good. Naked crouching - bad.
Many Christmases ago, I went to buy a doll for my son. I reached for the last one they had, but so did another man. And as I rained blows upon him I realized there had to be another way.
What happened to the doll?
It was destroyed, but out of this came a new holiday, 'a Festivus for the rest-of-us.'
Kramer: That must of been some doll.
SHE was!
At the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around and tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year.
And is there a tree?
No. Instead, there's a pole. Requires no decoration. I find tinsel distracting.
Frank, this new holiday of yours is scratching me right where I itch.
Hey George, I'm buyin' this car!
Shh. What is wrong with you? You never tell them you like the car! You're not sure what you want. You don't even know why you're here!
So, Puddy, this is a pretty good move for you, huh? No more "grease monkey".
DPDavid Puddy
I don't much care for that term.
Oh. Sorry, I didn't know...
DPDavid Puddy
No, I don't know too many monkeys who could take apart a fuel injector.
I saw one once that could do sign language.
DPDavid Puddy
Yeah, I saw that one. Uh... Koko.
Yeah, Koko.
DPDavid Puddy
Right, Koko. That chimp's all right. High-five.
Hey Silvio. Just out for a little stroll in my favorite fur coat.
SSilvio
That is your coat?
It sure is.
SSilvio
Kramer says you need it because you're an entertainer and you're desperate for attention.
That's true.
Hey Silvio, look at Jerry here, prancing around in his coat with his purse. Yup, he's a dandy. He's a real fancy boy!
Newman and I are reversing the peepholes on our door so you can see in.
Why?
To prevent an ambush.
Yeah, so now I can peek to see if anyone is waiting to jack me with a sock full of pennies.
But then anyone can just look in and see you.
Our policy is, we're comfortable with our bodies. You know, if someone wants to help themselves to an eyeful, well, we say "Enjoy the show."
You've been hiding her from us. you must really like her?
Ah! the minute I saw this girl, we just clicked. She's got such a nice face... hmm, her eyes, her mouth, nose...
We know what a face consists of.
[reading the latest Ziggy comic] "The New Yorker's stealing my jokes". Ha, now that's funny... because it's true.
[Elaine's new boyfriend is poor]
We found out his super power is lack of money.
Very funny.
He's invulnerable to creditors.
Ha ha.
He's the "Got No Green" Lantern.
All right, that's enough.
Hey, Elaine, maybe his girlfriend is "Lois Loan".
Well crafted. [leaves, comes back] I forgot my glasses.
He can wipe out his checking account in a single bounce!
Keep 'em.
Maura I uh, I want you to know I've given this a lot of thought I'm sorry, but we uh we have to break up.
MMaura
No.
What's that?
MMaura
We're not breaking up.
We're not?
MMaura
No.
[pauses for a moment] Alright.
What's that?
It's a Wizard electronic organizer for my dad. I'm going to Florida for his birthday.
How much was it?
Two hundred, but I'll tell him it's fifty. He doesn't care about the gift; he gets excited about the deal.
Where are you gettin' a Wizard for fifty dollars?
Eh, I'll tell him I got it on the street. Maybe it's hot — that's his favorite.
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