Money is the root of all evil. I think I NEED more money.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
...and, if you get to the Endsville mall in the next four minutes, you'll get a free Happy Huggy Stuffy Bear!
[thinking] Wait! Something was said... something good! Was it peanuts? No, something with free... was it FREE peanuts! No, peanuts are never free. What was free!
TTV
Free toys!
[grunts as he attempts to remember]
TTV
free BOYS!
[long pause] ... FREE BOYS!
What's wrong with the TV?
Nothing, I'm just waiting for Billy to realize it isn't on.
[staring at a blank screen] ... Ooh, I LOVE this show!
[Irwin gets a Happy Huggy Stuffy Bear from Mandy]
A gift from Mandy! I will call you... Mandy Two! And I will teach you the meaning of LOVE...
HHHappy Huggy Stuffy Bear
I love you!
I love YOU.
HHHappy Huggy Stuffy Bear
I'll be your friend!
I'll be YOUR friend.
HHHappy Huggy Stuffy Bear
I'll do your bidding!
[in a trance] I'll do your bidding. Pardon me I have bidding to do. [leaves]
Is Billy drooling more than usual.
Just be happy it's drool this time.
Mind control doesn't work on people who think.
One little, two little, three headless huggy bears, four little, five little, six headless huggy bears, seven little, eight little, nine headless huggy bears, and I still have a million to go!
MMailman
Delivery for Mandy.
Oh, big money! No whammies!
Hey, Grim! Why'd you cut off the head of my Huggy Stuffy Pony Bear?
Because it made you into a zombie.
Oh, You bears are all alike. You love us, you turn us into zombies, your heads get cut off and leave us brokenhearted.
Just think, Mandy. You, me, all the control, all the power, ALL THE FREE CHICKEN! Legions of zombie children to assist us in our quest for chaos! IT CAN ALL BE OURS! [laughs]
You mortals are always picking your noses: [flashbacks] in your car, at the mall, in your car, at work, in your car, at school, in your car...
Hey, that's me!
[The Nasalmancer is digging through Billy's nose]
Hey, now! Get yo fo' shizzle out of my nizzle, Dawg!
[Billy's and the Nasalmancer's noses collide and blow up]
NNasalmancer
[to Billy] You blew my nose... up!
[to the Nasalmancer] You blew MY nose... up!
[Billy and Irwin are in Billy's wish world, dressed as Jonny Quest and Hadji respectively]
Why you talkin' funny?
[with an Indian accent] Because I am from Calcutta, in the mystical east.
No you're not, you live down the block and what's with that weird thingy on your head?
[normal voice; angrily screaming] IT'S A TURBAN! IT'S WHAT I WEAR! I'M FROM THE MYSTICAL EAST! I'm in character, yo, so WHY DON'T YOU JUST GET OFF ME?!?
[Pud'n has found a wishing skull and wished for a bunny, a pet bunny that will love him.]
I love you Pud'n. Do you love me?
I love everyone, especially you.
Do you regret wishing for me, Pud'n?
How could I ever regret wishing for you?
Pud'n, have you ever heard of, Tough Love?
What's that?
[the bunny roars and hits Pud'n]
What was that for?
Sometimes, love hurts, Pud'n... AND I LOVE YOU A LOT.
[proceeds to a beat-down]
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.