Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[CIA Agent is in another room, speaking via intercom]
[To Billy] So, you wanna join the organization.
What organization?
The CIA.
J-J-J!
What?
...Q-R-S-P-U-Z! Now I know the ABC's, next time won't you sing with ME?
[CIA Agent is in another room, speaking via intercom]
Do you think you have what it takes to join us?
I have a rash on my butt!
Okay...
My mom tells me not to touch it, but I touch it anyway! [pauses] Please don't tell my mom!
Uh, sure.
Are you invi-siable?
No Billy, I'm in a different room.
The bathroom?
Billy, how would you like it if we wiped your mind and turned you into a covert warrior?
I LIKE FRENCH FRIES!
Yes! Come, Lord Shnissugah! Come and make us kings!
[the basement door opens, but the scene abruptly changes back to Irwin's club]
You sickos are in big big trouble!
The CIA is on to us! Run, girls! [he runs to an open window] You ain't gettin' jack on me, yo! [he jumps out, and a CIA agent moves to follow him]
No. Let him go. He seems to have forgotten this classroom is on the third floor.
[Irwin is arrested by the CIA.]
This isn't right! This episode was supposed to be about snake nerds! SNAKE NERDS!
What are you, crazy in the head?! Cool kids are full of transfatty acids! Do you have any idea what that would do to my indigestion?
Our world has crumbled!
Completely-y-y!
Hey, have fun guys! Hahahahaha!
Have fun? With what?... Oh, no!
Cover your eyes Wiggly Jr., cause this is about to get ugly.
Hey! It's the Fluffy Cat... Fluffy... Cat.
You've already said that!
(stupidly) Oh, yeah...
Why does the fate of humanity always end up in the hands of an idiot?
[Harold is telling Gladys how much his new bike costs]
... and it only cost us Billy's entire college fund!
[Grabs Harold by the collar] WHAT did you say?!
I said "It's only cost us Billy's entire college fund!"
Oh... well, it must be nice.
[Billy complains after Mandy tells him to tell Harold he destroyed the bike and "face the music"]
But I hate music! All kinds! Especially soft rock!
Just who is that Sassy Cat character anyway?
It's some stupid cartoon character based on some stupid cartoon media icon used to build this whole stupid amusement park.
Cartoons are stupid.
I agree.
[monitor activates] I am Master Control, computer of the future.
[screams and jumps on Grim's arms]
That'd better be sweat dripping down your leg, boy.
I am programmed to run all of the machines at this attraction. My intelligence is beyond measure; I know everything there is to know, and I'm not too shabby at checkers.
Wait, how do you know EVERYTHING?
I just do, so there.
If you know everything, then what's the meaning of life?
Life has no meaning; only machine intelligence is truly significant on a cosmic scale.
Hmm, I didn't think he'd get that one right.
Oh, yeah? Then what's my favorite color?
Blue.
What's the best kind of bean?
Pinto.
Why is the sky blue?
Because of the refraction of sunlight through the water droplets in the sky.
Why do I ask so many questions?
Because you're a nuisance!
What's the color of my underwear?
White...
[Master Control raises an eyebrow]
[Master Control puts on an annoyed face]
... with pink frilly lace.
[checks in his pants] WOW! It really DOES know everything.
[singing] Sassy cat, sassy cat, full of sass, full of sass, if you dont like her you can kiss... her... BUTT!
Oh, man! She really IS a goner!
I'd like to say it was nice knowing her...
[Mandy walks to the door, completely indifferent to the chaos and destruction around her. When she makes to the door, the robots swarm her]
[sarcastically] Oh, no, whatever shall I do? [pulls out a nearby plug, which turns off the robots] You idiots coming or not?
Wow, she's BAD!
You have no idea.
I'm so BORED!
I know what you mean. I've been watching Billy pick stuff out of his ear for the last two hours. And the worst part is... I can't stop watching.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
