Stop it! Stop the fighting! Why do you have to hate each other? Can't you see you're just like peas and mashed potatoes? Some people don't like them to touch each other if they're on the same plate. But it's okay... it's okay if they touch! Because they both get chewed up by the mouth! And sent down the esophagus and dissolved into the stomach and absorbed into the intestines and, oh no, I won't go any further than that. But the point is, we're all just nutrients in the great big digestive system called LIFE!
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[Grim and Mandy are washing a car.]
I wonder how Billy's picnic is going.
[Billy flies past them really fast]
HEY, GRIM! HEY, MANDY!
That answers one question, yet raises so many others...
BBoogie
What happened to your face?
BBoy
Dude, I'm like fifteen. We all look like this. What are you, my mom?
BBoogie
No, I'm-the boogeyman.
BBoy
[unimpressed] ...I don't even believe in you. Go talk to my little brother.
[Billy and Irwin are watching TV]
This show is awesome!
OTLady on TV
Hey, Doc, what're ya doing with my legs? [buzzing sound] AAH!
DODoctor on TV
Oh, STOP it! I'm just shaving you!
Oh, Grim. The TV wants to talk to you.
TV?
[Boogie, still disguised as the television, is sitting on the couch holding a glass of wine]
BBoogie
Hello, Grim.
[perplexed] Hello, TV...
You're gonna love shed building, son. Even a complete and total nincompoop can do it.
Like you?
Yeah, like you. Now where was I gonna build that shed? It's all about location. [starts yodeling loudly]!
What the heck are you doing?!
Checking the acoustics [continues]!
I'm going home.
That's it! [drops material at Grim] The best location is always closest to the house.
AAnnouncer
And now we return to Captain Space Heifer.
NNinjas
You win this round, Heifer!
SHCaptain Space Heifer
Yes... I do... But I couldn't have done it without my Heifer farm's brand fruit-at-the-bottom all natural-styled yogurt.
NNinjas
It's partially hydrogenated.
SHCaptain Space Heifer
QUIET, YOU!! [Captain melts Ninjas with his laser eyes.] It's partially hydrogenated. Buy some today. If you don't, I'll melt you, too! [starts laughing, with Billy laughing back. He then stops, serious.] ... I will.
While you kids are talking, I'm gonna pick my nose! Just wanted to give you the heads up.
Do you know what is this?
Uhh... orange juice?
Wrong. This is an empty Orange Juice container. Somebody drank it. They probably wanted me to get scurvy from lack of Vitamin C.
[trying to find an evil empire to destroy with his superpowers] Hello? Evil empire? Legion of doom? Plague of society? Threat to mankind, where are you?
[still trying to find an evil empire, he looks down and sees a bunch of bacteria] Infinitesimal evil! In the name of the Earth, and all that is clean and fresh! Environmentally safe, and partially hydrogenated! I... uh... I! Uh, I... uh... ...AH SHOOT MAH YOGHURT!
I'm gonna open up my own personal can of Powerpuff on you two.
The only thing I keep in me' robe are terrible cursed objects! [makes scary noises]
[pulls out the Mask of the Beast] You mean like this one?
Yes, exactly like that.
Oooooh... it's a pair of butt wings!
No, you simpleton! It is the Mask of the Beast! Whoever puts it on must be nice, polite, friendly, and happy, or they'll turn into a terrible hideous beast!
OH! I WANNA BE A TERRIBLE HIDEOUS BEAST! [puts the Mask on his nose] Is it working? Is it working? Is it working?
[snatches the mask] You dope. It won't work on you. You've already been a hopelessly happy goon all day long.
Isn't about time for you to go?
Yeah, the evil empire remember?
Captain Spring Green Squeaker reporting for intergalactical duty! In the name of truth, justice, and YOGURT![armpit squirts yogurt on Mandy and Grim.][Laughs]
[takes out notepad and pencil] What can I get for Billy?
Ooh! I wanna be green!
Okay, green!
Spring Green.
Spring Green.
[squeals] Ooh! And I want to squeak!
[confused] Squeak?
Yeah, every time I move. Squeak. And uh....
Billy, pick a real superpower. [Milkshakes walks by covered in yogurt. He shakes the yogurt off his feet and paws.] So, what'll be?
SHCaptain Space Heifer
[echoing] It's partially hydrogenated!
And to shoot Heifer Farms Brand fruit-at-the-bottom all-natural styled yogurt from my ARMPITS!!!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.