Why do women always go for losers like him?
What, instead of losers like you?
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
We've got to rescue her from that monster!
He's her boyfriend, he's not Jason.
George is not some kind of deadbeat. I'll have you know that he's a writer! [Mike, Carter, and Stuart all groan] He's writing a screenplay! [They groan louder] What's wrong with that?!
He's a writer! That's like an actor who's too lazy to work at a restaurant!
He's using you for a free ride, Nikki. Trust me, I know guys like him...I am guys like him.
If you'd given me any more time I could've recovered.
Paul, if I'd have given you any more time up there, you would have declared the Mayor dead.
It was back in the '60s, and I was at this party and some idiot spiked the Kool-Aid. Before I knew it, I was 3/4 up a pine tree, naked as a jay bird, trying to get away from all the giant bugs, there.
Well, there you have it. Okay, so I tell the press that you were in a mental hospital...because you were taking acid.
Coincidentally, that was the same night I decided to run for Mayor.
Playing doctor should be left to qualified professionals. And of course, curious youngsters.
(to the porn actresses) I'm Deputy Mayor Michael Flaherty, and I'm going to pretend I don't know who any of you are.
(to Stuart) Ok, Stuart. Inside that is some of the biggest names in the porn business. Your heroes.
Can't you tell if a man is handsome?
Huh, nice try.
I can't get from ESPN to the Comedy Channel without some big penis waving in my face.
Where are you watching television?
(reading cue cards) Good afternoon, all. I want to start out with a personal outrage that has been going on too long. Public access... (switches cards) ...pornography.
(to James) You want to work on where you break those cards.
(reading cue cards) I just want to make sure that material with graphic sexual content is available and seen... (switches cards) ...only by those people who specifically want to see it.
(to James) Ok, you did that one on purpose.
(on the porn industry) Is lack of exposure really a problem for them?
I have a penis.
Don't make me get my purse.
DWDrew West
So, Randy, what was the deal with your book signing? I heard the only person that show up was your ex-wife and she just wanted directions to my book signing. See, she already knows the way to my house.
Yes, well, Helen always did love doing charity work.
DWDrew West
Oh, I think I just got slammed by the Mayor
Helen used to love that too
Ok, you first
Four seasons, silk sheets, champagne, he's wearing his uniform
Secluded beach, full moon, he's wearing his uniform
SPStacy Paterno
Right here, right now, I'M wearing his uniform
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.