It's not jealousy; I just wish I had what he had.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
They had a candle light vigil at the fountain last night. Hundreds showed up.
Of course only five people could fit around it at one time. They had to vigil in shifts.
Even if I were prejudiced against gays, I'd want 'em to get married. Give them a taste of the nightmare the rest of us live through every day.
Believe it or not, I came out at Thanksgiving.
How'd you pull that off?
Very subtle. "Dad, great job carving the turkey. I'm a homosexual."
Well, every year, I go to my sister's house, hug her three beautiful children, then my family gathers round, ties me to a chair, and pummels me with questions about why I'm not married yet.
Me, my mom, my dad, three Hungry Man dinners, and a big box of wine. The first "I hate you" comes out around 9:30.
You see grasshopper, one must understand the rhythms of the game-. WAAAAHH!! -In order to truly master ebb and flow, ying and yang. Are you prepared to do battle?
No, I want you to talk some more.
I'm not a club kinda guy. If I wanna shout, I'll go visit my grandmother.
It's not like I'm sleeping with every man in town. You are straight. Do you sleep with every woman you meet?
YES!
Who's looking out for the white middle-class, heterosexual male?
Congress.
C'mon trade with me, my nuns for your lesbians.
They're not baseball cards, Paul.
What do lesbians know about me? This could be a fabulous opportunity!
To remind them why they're lesbians?
Are you telling me that your pregnant?
CCarrie
No, but I will be thanks to you.
Wait a second, am I missing a step here, cause if you're talking about last night, I took precautions, we took precautions!
CCarrie
Let't just say I'm the kinda girl who never throws anything away...I put it in the freezer.
You froze my guys?!
CCarrie
I'm just here to get your blessing.
What am I, the pope?!
CCarrie
Don't yell at me!
Those are my guys, I want them back!
CCarrie
Look, if you're gonna be all weird about this, I'm just gonna leave!
You can't do this! (opens office door) GIMME BACK MY SPERM!
As a show of good faith, you have to release 1, maybe 2 million of the hostages.
Basically, by 6 o'clock, anyone in the city with breasts is going to hate us.
Welcome to my world.
Why couldn't the Mayor just stand up?
(Male coworkers chuckling)
What? What am I missing?
How am I gonna explain this. Okay, Nikki. Even though the Mayor wasn't actually standing...he was at full attention.
Nooo.
Yes, now how are we gonna explain this little snub to the Woman's Action Caucus?
Snub? The man paid the woman the ultimate compliment!
Yeah, if they were orangutans.
Can't you guys control those things?
Not always.
You can scold it, or smack it around a little bit. That only seems to encourage it.
I am fascinated.
Sometimes all it takes is a thought, memory...sometimes all it takes is a slight breeze.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.