EEve
Relax. I'm not here to fight.
No. Just to rally every freak on the planet. Bring in Khan worms and--and half-assed Spidermen. And dragons. Really, sister? Dragons?
EEve
So I dusted off some of the old classics. I needed help.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
I remember being at a shoreline, watching a little grey fish heave itself up on the beach. And an older brother saying, "Don't step on that fish Castiel, big plans for that fish." I remember the the Tower of Babel - all 37 feet of it, which I suppose was impressive at the time. And when it fell they howled, "Divine Wrath!" But come on, dried dung can only be stacked so high.
And, of course, I remember the most remarkable event - remarkable because it never came to pass. It was averted by two boys, an old drunk and a fallen angel. The grand story. And we ripped up the ending and the rules... And destiny...leaving nothing but freedom and choice. Which is all well and good, except... Well, what if I've made the wrong choice? How am I supposed to know? I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me tell you my story. Let me tell you everything.
God wants you to have freedom.
RRachel
But what does he want us to do with it?
[narrating] If I knew then what I know now, I might have said; 'It's simple. Freedom is a length of rope, God wants you to hang yourself with it.' Those first weeks back in Heaven were surprisingly difficult. Explaining freedom to angels is a bit like teaching poetry to fish.
If you touch the Winchesters...
Please. I heard you the first time. I promise -- nary a hair on their artfully tousled heads. Besides, I think they've proven my point for me. It's always your friends, isn't it, in the end? We try to change. We try to improve ourselves. It's always our friends who got to claw into our sides and-and hold us back. But you know what I see here? The new God [pointing at Castiel] and the new Devil, working together.
Enough! You stop talking and get out of my sight.
Well... Glad I came. You're welcome, by the way. You know the difference between you and me? I know what I am. What are you, Castiel? What exactly are you willing to do?
You're the one who taught me that freedom and free will...
You're a freaking child, you know that? Just because you can do what you want, doesn't mean that you get to do whatever you want.
Our pal, Cas, didn't stop in last night just to mend fences.
What did he do?
Stole something.
What?
The journal of one Moishe Campbell.
Moishe?
Of the New York Campbells.
Wha- uh... So we gotta get it back. Right?
Or just read the copy I already made. Hi, glad to meet you. Bobby Singer: paranoid bastard.
Alright so who's this Phillips guy?
Phillips ain't his last name. It's Lovecraft.
H.P. Lovecraft? Let me see that.
Am I supposed to know who that is?
Horror writer? "At the Mountains of Madness"? "The Call of Cthulu"?
Yeah, no I- I was too busy having sex with women.
I don't believe a word that's coming out of your mouth.
I thought you said that we were like family. Well, I think that too. Shouldn't trust run both ways?
Cas, I just can't.
Dean, I do everything that you ask. I always come when you call. And I am your friend, still, despite your lack of faith in me, and now your threats. I just saved you, yet again. Has anyone but your closest kin ever done more for you? All I ask is this one thing.
Trust your plan to pop Purgatory?
I've earned that Dean.
I know I'm going to live to regret this, but... I'm officially... on your team. You bastards.
And we should believe you why?
Would you believe I had a shred of decency?
No.
Aww. That hurts. Okay. You're right.
Dean, you know you have pulled some shady crap before but this... has got to be the worst. Whitewashing their memories? Take it from somebody who knows-
You ever mention Lisa or Ben to me again? I will break your nose.
Dean-
(near tears) I'm not kidding.
SSSoulless Sam
My God. Am I really that gawky? Howdy.
This is impossible.
SSSoulless Sam
Cold. Try again.
I'm, uh... I'm hallucinating.
SSSoulless Sam
Warmer. But see, normally, you're awake when you're tripping balls.
I'm dreaming?
SSSoulless Sam
And someone just won a copy of the home game! We're inside your grapefruit Sam. Son, you've been juiced.
I-I don't remember anything.
SSSoulless Sam
Well, your BFF Cas brought the hell-wall tumbling down, and you, pathetic infant that you are, shattered into pieces. [Gestures to Sam] Piece. [Gestures to himself] Piece.
I, I have no idea what you're talking about.
SSSoulless Sam
Why would you? You're Jello, pal. Unlike me.
And what are you?
SSSoulless Sam
I'm not handicapped. I'm not saddled with a soul. In fact, I used to skipper this meat-boat for a while. It was smooth sailing. I was sharp. Strong. That is, till they crammed your soul back in. Now look at you. Same misty-eyed milksap you always were. That's because souls are weak. They're a liability. Now, nothing personal, but run the numbers. Someone's gotta take charge around here before it's too late.
I'm renegotiating our terms.
Is that so? What terms do you propose?
You get nothing. Not one single soul.
Kind of noticed, it seems a bit unfairly weighted.
TSTortured Sam
I wish you hadn't come, Sam.
I had to. I'm here, right? Out there in the real world, I'm at Bobby's, aren't I?
TSTortured Sam
How do you know?
This whole time, I've smelled nothing but Old Spice and whiskey. I figured if I could get back here, back to my body, I could... I don't know, I could snap out of it somehow.
TSTortured Sam
But first you have to go through me.
Why?
TSTortured Sam
Humpty Dumpty has to put himself back together again before he can wake up. And I'm the last piece.
Which means I have to know what you know. What happened in the cage?
TSTortured Sam
Trust me. You don't want to know it.
You're right. But I still have to.
TSTortured Sam
Sam, you can't imagine... Stay here. Go back, find that bartender, go find Jess, but don't do this. I know you. You're not strong enough.
We'll just have to see.
TSTortured Sam
Why is this so important to you?
You know me. You know why. I'm not leaving my brother alone out there.
TSTortured Sam
(picks up a knife and holds it out to Sam) I'm not gonna fight you. But this is your last chance. (Sam takes the knife.) Good luck. You're gonna need it. (Sam stabs him, absorbing his memories.)
I'm glad you made it, Sam. But the angel blade won't work. Because I'm not an angel anymore. I'm your new God. A better one. So, you will bow down and profess your love unto me, your Lord. Or I shall destroy you.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.