Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
So what, then? Kill us?
What a brave little ant you are. You know you're powerless; you wouldn't dare move against me again, that would be pointless. So I have no need to kill you. Not now. Besides... Once, you were my favorite pets before you turned and bit me.
Plenty speak for them and their so-called lifestyle! Media, Hollywood... Lady Gaga won't shut up, for love or money. [The congregation laughs.] Yeah, funny. But that's why we raise our voices! And picket their so-called weddings and their funerals! Someone has to speak for God.
You're wrong -- I am utterly indifferent to sexual orientation. On the other hand, I cannot abide hypocrites like you, Reverend.
Okay, fun's over, friend--
Tell your flock where your genitals have been before you speak for me.
And who the heck are you?
I'm God. And he who lies in my name shall choke on his own false tongue, and his poisonous words shall betray him. For I am the Lord, your God.
What new boss?
Castiel, you giraffe.
Is your boss?
He's everybody's boss! What do you think he's going to do when he finds out we've been conspiring? You do... want to conspire, don't you?
No, we want you to just stand there and look pretty.
Excuse me, do you have any Grey Poupon?
Annoying little Protozoa, aren't they?
(to Cass) Stupid little soldier you are.
Please, Cass. I know God, and you, sir, are not God.
Um..
Shut up Dean.
Yeah, you know how I'm gonna deal? I'm gonna stuff my piehole, I'm gonna drink, and I'm gonna watch some Asian cartoon porn and act like the world's about to explode because it is.
Hi, Sam. Long time, no spooning.
That’s 12 hours straight. I’m calling that rested. Here - hydrate and, um, protein-ate.
Breakfast in bed.
Don’t get used to it.
Well now wait, I got it. Why would the Devil holodeck you a whole new life when he could just kick your ass all over the Cage?
‘Cause, as he puts it...
You can’t torture someone who has nothing left for you to take away.
Very good, Sam.
Okay, fine. But this Malibu dream mansion that he, he, he makes for you to take away is this post-apocalyptic mess?
It had to be a mess, Sam, or you wouldn’t believe it was your life.
Wait. Are you seeing him right now?
[Sam nods.]
You know that he’s not real. Right?
He says the same thing about you.
Course. You just lost one of the best friends you ever had, your brother's in the bell jar, and purgatory's most wanted are surfing the sewer lines, but you know, yeah, I get it. You're fine.
Did you know a study showed that 3/4 of doctors cheat on their exams? He might not know your appendix from your vagina.
If you think I'm leaving you here alone...
Hey, what am I, chopped brains on toast?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
