Like all authors I started writing because of love. I had a huge crush on Nancy McKeon who played Jo in The Facts of Life. I must have written her forty to fifty letters. She never wrote back.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
The demon Crowley is making a deal; even as we speak, it's... going... down.
Going down? Right. Okay, Huggy Bear, just don't lose him.
I won't lose him.
Oh, uh, excuse me for asking, but aren't you kind of signing your own death warrant? I mean, what happens to you if we go up against the devil and lose?
Number one, he's going to wipe us all out anyway. Two, after you leave here, I go on an extended vacation to all points nowhere. And three, how about you don't miss, okay! Morons!
So. Dangerous mission tomorrow. Guess it's time to eat, drink, and, you know, make merry.
Are you giving me the last night on Earth speech?
What?
What?
No. [laughs No. If I was, would, uh,... would that work?
[leans in to kiss him, but breaks off] No. Sweetheart, if this is our last night on Earth, then I'm going to spend it with a little thing I call self-respect.
Lucifer.
So, I take it you're here with the Winchesters?
I came alone.
Loyalty... such a nice quality to see this day and age.
I know what you must think of me, Sam. But I have to do this. I have to. You of all people should understand.
What's that supposed to mean?
I was a son. A brother, like you, a younger brother, and I had an older brother who I love. Idolized, in fact. And one day I went to him and I begged him to stand with me, and Michael... Michael turned on me. Called me a freak. A monster. And then he beat me down. All because I was different. Because I had a mind of my own. Tell me something, Sam. Any of this sound familiar? Anyway. You'll have to excuse me, midnight is calling and I have a ritual to finish. Don't go anywhere. Not that you could if you would.
You were referred to me by a Dr. Babar in Chicago.
That's right.
Isn't there a children's book about an elephant named Babar?
I don't know. I don't have any elephant books. Look doctor, I-I think the doc was in over his head with this one [points at Sam]. Cause my brother's, uh... [whistles and makes circles with his finger].
Okay fine, thank you, that's, that's really not necessary. Why don't you tell me how you're feeling, Alex?
[sighs] I'm fine. I mean, okay, a little depressed, I guess.
Alright. Any idea why?
Probably because I started the apocalypse.
The apocalypse?
Yeah. That's right.
And you think you started it?
Well yeah. I mean, I killed this demon – Lilith – and I accidentally freed Lucifer from Hell. So now he's topside, and we're trying to stop him.
Who is?
Me. Him. And, uh, this one angel.
Oh, you mean like a, like an angel on your shoulder.
No no. His name's Castiel. He wears a trench coat.
See what I mean, doc? I mean the kid's been beating himself up about this for months! The apocalypse wasn't his fault.
It's not?
No. There was this other demon, Ruby? She had him addicted to demon blood, I mean, near the end he was practically chugging the stuff. My brother's not evil. He was just... high. Y'know, so, could you fix him up so we could get back to traveling around the country and hunting monsters?
[smiles weakly, then picks up his phone]. Urma? Cancel my lunch.
Alright Ted, calm down.
TTed
I am calm. And I'd very calmly like to talk about the monster that's hunting us.
Ted, we're not going to have that discussion again. It's not good for group.
TTed
I agree. You know what else isn't good for group? A monster eating all our faces off!
CDr. Cartwright
Why you?
Why me what?
CDr. Cartwright
Why do you have to hunt monsters? Why not let someone else do it?
I can't find anybody else that dumb. It's my job, somebody's gotta save people's asses. Yours included.
CDr. Cartwright
So, is there a quota? How many people do you have to save?
All of 'em.
CDr. Cartwright
All of them? You think you have to save everyone?
Yup. Whole wide world of sports.
CDr. Cartwright
How? [Dean hesitates] Believe me, whatever you've got, I've heard weirder.
It's the end of the world, okay? I mean, it's the damn biblical apocalypse. And if I don't stop it and save everyone then no one will and we all die.
CDr. Cartwright
That's horrible.
Tell me about it.
CDr. Cartwright
I mean, apocalypse or no apocalypse. Monsters or no monsters. It's a crushing weight to have on your shoulders, to feel like six billion lives depend on you. God, how do you get up in the morning?
Monsters are the least of your problems. People can learn to live with delusions, but the anger I saw in you... you hurt those two men, and you were going to kill me. The look in your eyes when you came after me, I... it was like you were barely even human. Like a man possessed.
I know. Please... just... could you give me a second chance?
Well, this isn't a prison. You'll be allowed to go to the day room, under supervision.
Thank you.
But if there is one more outburst, I will transfer you to a facility that is equipped to handle violent patients, and believe me, they will be far, far less forgiving.
The wraith-
What about her?
She was right.
No, she wasn't. She's dead, okay? Let's hit the road. I need a drink, or twelve.
Most of the time I can hide it, but I am angry. I'm mad at everything. I used to be mad at you and dad, then Lilith, now it's Lucifer. And I make excuses: I blame Ruby, or the demon blood, but it's not their fault, it's not them, it's me. It's inside me. I'm mad all the time, and I don't know why.
Stop. Stop it. So what if you are? What are you gonna do here, take a leave of absence? You gonna say yes to Lucifer? What?
No, of course not.
Exactly. And that's exactly what you're going to do: you're going to take all that crap, and you're gonna bury it. You're gonna forget about it, because that's how we keep going.
SSam (as Gary)
[finds AP school textbooks] Smart kid. [finds Star Wars t-shirt] Virgin. [finds porno magazine] Frustrated virgin. [continues rumaging through box and finds cloth with Satanic symbols on it] Witchcraft, huh Gary? You little Satanic bastard.
TTrevor
Everybody knows Dean. He's Hell's most wanted.
SSam (as Gary)
Oh, no. Have you idiots been talking to demons?
[to Gary] Rebel a little bit, in a healthy, non-satanic way. By the way, you know why Nora's into witchcraft?
GGary
What do you mean?
She doesn't like Satan, you moron. She likes you.
That was a nice thing to say.
Totally lied. Kid's life sucked ass. All that apple pie family crap, it's stressful. Trust me, we didn't miss a damn thing.
Or we don't know what we're missing.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.