Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
You think Jesse's gonna be OK?
I hope so.
You know we destroyed that kid's life by telling him the truth.
We didn't have a choice, Dean.
Yeah. You know I'm starting to get why parents lie to their kids. You want them to believe that the worst thing out there is to mixing poprocks and coke. Protect them from the real evil. You want them going to bed feeling safe. If that means lying to them, so be it. More I think about it... more I wish dad had lied to us.
Yeah, me too.
So you were just gonna shoot some old guy, is that it?
I didn't know what you were. I mean have you seen you? You look like-
The old chick in Titanic. I know, shut up.
I was gonna say Emperor Palpatine.
[Bobby enters the room on his wheelchair, looking like his normal self]
I see you met John McCain there.
Yeah... either of you wanna tell me what happened?
Bobby's an idiot, that's what.
Hey, nobody asked you to play.
You're right, I should've just let you die.
And for damn sure, nobody asked you to lose!
[amused] It's like Grumpy Old Men.
SHUT UP, SAM.
Sammy, when you get to be our age...
You're 30, Dean!
What exactly am I living for, huh? The damn apocalypse?! Watching men die bloody while I sit in this chair, can't take a step to help 'em.
Bobby...
No, no, It's the facts. I'm old, and I'm broke down, and I... I ain't a hunter no more. I'm useless. And if I wasn't such a coward I'd have stuck a gun in my mouth the day I got home from the hospital.
I'm sorry kid. Aces full.
[to Lia] You're crying. For a witch, you're so nice it's actually kinda creepy. It's okay. [to Patrick] It was a great hand. Just... not as great as... [Sam lays his hand down, revealing two fours, matching the two fours in the table hand] as four fours.
Well played. You know, that whole... 'going out of your head' bit, very method. There's more to you than meets the eye. [raises his glass]
Cash these in for Dean. Please.
With pleasure.
You're not useless, Bobby.
Okay... good talk.
Whoa, wait a moment, listen to me. You don't stop being a soldier 'cause you got wounded in battle. Okay? No matter what shape you're in, bottom line is: you're family. Now I don't know if you've noticed but me and Sam, we don't have much left. I can't do this without you. I can't. So don't you dare think about checking out! I don't wanna hear that again!
Okay.
Okay. Good.
Thanks... now we done feeling our feelings? Cause I'd like to get out of this room before we both start growing lady parts.
Yeah, we're done.
[The episode opens in the form of a sitcom]
[Narrating] Supernatural is filmed before a live studio audience.
[Closes his fridge and looks at a cartoonishly big sandwich] I'm gonna need a bigger mouth.
[Laughs, then cheers as Sam walks through the door]
Hey there Sam. What's happening?
Oh nothing, um, just the end of the world. [Audience laughs. Sam looks at the sandwich] You're gonna need a bigger mouth. Hey, uh, have you done your research yet?
Oh yeah, All kinds of research. All night.
Yeah?
[lets loose wolf whistles and catcalls as a bikini clad woman exits the bathroom]
Oh, Dean. We have some more "research" to do.[More laughter]
[thoroughly exasperated] Dean...
[Extreme close-up] Son of a bitch! [More laughter and cheers]
[A cheesy opening credits sequence ensues, complete with Sam and Dean riding on a tandem bicycle and mopeds , playing pass football in a park, and hunting ghosts in a very comic fashion]
Calm down?! I am wearing sunglasses at night! You know who does that? No-talent douchebags. I hate this game. I hate that we're in a procedural cop show. And you want to know why? Because I hate procedural cop shows. There's like 300 on television, they're all the freaking same, it's: "oh... a plane crashed here." Oh shut up!
You do not know my family. What you guys call the Apocalypse, I used to call Sunday dinner!
No, we're not 'cause we don't screw with people the way you do. And for the record, this isn't about some prized fight between your brothers. Or some destiny that can't be stopped. This is about you being too afraid to stand up to your family! [after setting off the sprinkler system] Don't say I never did anything for you.
All that stuff he was spouting in there, do you think he was telling the truth?
I think he believes it.
So what do we do?
I don't know.
I'll tell you one thing – right about now wish I was back on a TV show.
Yeah, me too.
He means the books, Chuck. Why are you publishing more books?
Um... for food and shelter.
Who gave you the rights to our life story?
An Archangel, and I didn't want it.
Well, you sure look lovely tonight. Especially for a dead chick.
Buddy, I have heard that line 17 times tonight, okay? And all from dudes wearing MacGyver jackets. But you seem different.
How so?
Well, you don't seem scared of women.
No, I am not a fan, okay. Not fans. In fact, I think that the Dean and Sam story sucks. It is not fun, it's not entertaining. It is a river of crap that would send most people howling to the nuthouse! So you listen to me. Their pain is not for your amusement. I mean, do you think they they enjoy being treated like-like circus freaks?
Ahh, I don't think they care. Because they're fictional characters.
Oh, they care. Believe me, they care a lot! [storms off]
He, uh... He takes the story really seriously.
I'm not sure you get what the story's about.
That so?
Alright, look. In real life, he sells stereo equipment, I fix copiers; our lives suck. But to be Sam and Dean... to wake up every morning and save the world, to have a brother who, who would die for you... Well, who wouldn't want that?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
