“Unfinished Business” quotes from Criminal Minds

Jim

Sean, you know what? I'm going to do something I've never done before. Usually I like to talk to a guy first. But with you, I'm gonna rap ya' right in the mouth.

What are your first impressions of the place? I mean, are the juices right? Because before we go inside and... and waste everybody's time on details, I think we should all know if we're in the ballpark.

Jim

[undercover as a representative of a famous real estate client] Well, the inside of the house is not a detail? Well, let me see, I think I'd say we're in the ballpark. It's large enough to allow for a security staff, and the two children want California, especially Caroline...

[grabs Jim by the arm] Mr. Lamont, let's speak frankly. Are we talking about here about Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis?

Jim

Now I didn't say that, and you'd do well not to repeat anything you've heard here today.

[barely able to hide his glee] Oh, absolutely!

Jim

It's like you said... you've dealt with the very, very famous. It's no big deal.

Absolutely! I don't think I'd be speaking out of school if I said to you that those names I mentioned before [Charo, Cher, Ringo, Barbra] are just... chicken liver! [laughs] What is show business fame? Get it! I mean, I know that you, I mean she, could trust me implicitly and absolutely!

Jim

Oh, absolutely...!

About Miriam... you know... it was pure physical depletion that caused that problem she was talking about. That's never happened to me before... probably'll never happen again! Truth is, I've been battling this insidious case of mononucleosis these past weeks. I should see my doctor.

Jim

Yeah, well, when illness interferes with your work you should. I've seen that notebook you have. How many broads with money do you have on the hook exactly?

You make it sound mechanical. I have some basic human needs. Caring. Affection. Oh, I do feel sick...

Jim

Would you like a second opinion? Fear is what causes that lack of steam. It's hard to get excited about old Miriam when you keep picturing yourself hanging upside down while some Arab's picking your teeth.

Emotions never affect my performance.

Jim

[grins] Real trooper, huh?

Angel

Aaron, when it's in the immediate family it's not called blackmail, it's called family spirit!

Angel

What I am tryin' to demonstrate to you is what true influence is worth. I'm not talkin' small time, I'm talkin' the big bag job in the sky!

Angel

Anytime Chapman starts to bother you or any of your friends, you call Angel Martin. I'll have him crated and shipped to the apple orchard indefinitely, for which I'll pick up a little money or favor from...

Jim

Well, that could be dangerous, Angel. That's what's called influence peddling!

Angel

Peddling? I ain't a peddler. A peddler is a guy who stands on a corner and eats exhaust fumes!

[drags his brother-in-law into a private room, both men missing their pants] I want the addresses of the three people who held up this party, and I want them now!

Angel

What! You think I set this up?

Look, you just put down their names, I'll do my best to help you with the police! Write down their names! [he slaps a pad and pen down in front of Angel] Now write down their names! I wanna a name and I want it now!

Angel

You wanna name?

I wanna name!

Angel

All righty, I'm gonna give you a name. [he picks up the pen] C! That's for the community property that you'll be spliting. Y! That's for the youngish looks she has. N! That's for the nights you spent in Newport. T! That's for the telling of the wife. H...!

[looking uneasy] Look, knock it off.

Angel

...That's for the home you're gonna lose in Bel Air. I is for the interest for my silence, and A is for the alimony you gonna be stuck with. You wanna name, Aaron? There's a name for you. Cynthia. Anyway you spell it, it means trouble!

Jim

What's Chapman doing working the door?

Angel

Chapman and a couple of other off-duty cops are here acting as security cuz there's a lot of important people. We've got four police commissioners, we've got a deputy mayor, we've got two deputy police chiefs. Thing is bigger than Cher's birthday.

Angel

Well, I got this friend of mine. He's a fence, Cat-eye Wilson. He met with those boys of yours, alright. Said he wouldn't trust them to float ice cream in a root beer.

This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.

[beeep and caller talks very quickly] Jim, I leave London four o'clock, arrive in L.A. at nine, I guess that's London time, yep, four to five is nine, minus twelve hours flying... no plus twelve hours, ah but then there's a time change...

This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.

[beeep] Rockford? Jake at the Sand Pebble. Sorry old buddy, but there have been gun shots around your place once too often. The neighborhood association wants to have a talk with you.

Jim

O.K., what's the problem? It's a simple phone call, I'd do it myself, but he'd recognize my voice.

Angel

What's the real deal here? Who are the big fish about to be fried?

Jim

What are you babbling about?

Angel

I just got here. But you know ole Angel, I can always smell the grand green. You can start by telling little Margaritte she can drop the blind act. I ain't gonna snitch on her.

Jim

[Incredulously] What is the matter with you? She IS blind! She had an accident 10 years ago! Now you get...

Angel

[laughing] Jimmy, Jimmy. I know the moves. I know how it's done, son. I did two months as Blind Lemon Martin on Market St. up in 'Frisco. Dobro guitar and harmonica rack, sad-like and miserable, you know how bad I play. But I did 1500 bucks worth of quarters in a month. [whispers intently] The sympathy factor!

Jim

If we could see a pictorial representation of your mind it would look like a fire drill in a state asylum.

Angel

Yea, well anyway I know she's a classy lady, got a body by Pininfarina and all that. Now I know it ain't no low-grade scam like mine. So what is it? Is she fronting for some charity? She goes around to all the big corporations and you come along as the packager of the telethon? I love it. LOVVVVE IT! Let me in on it, Jimmy. I can be the research doctor, take a painless 2%.

Jim

You'll get in for what I give you. [He shoves him through door] Get in there!

Jim

Instead of death row you're gonna get a trip to the lollipop factory... . He's gonna let the police catch him and then do the old 'where am I' bit. Any court in the country will stamp him as a ranking banana and send him off on a Valium holiday.

This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.

[beeep] Jim, you give Peg the two hundred for the painting, she owes me seventy and I owe you forty-six for the Christmas trees. Harry still out sixty for the dinner, but at least it'll void that check.

Jim, listen. I know you didn't get the best deal out of this. Well, I tell you what, if money's your problem I think I may have a solution. First, I want to thank you for saving my life, and I've been wracking my brain trying to come up with a way to express my gratitude, and I finally did.

Jim

[smiles] You don't really have to do anything, I mean...

Oh, yes, I do. As you may know, I'm always on the lookout for a good man.

Jim

I've heard it said...

And now that I'm going to be devoting full attention to the fight business, the dealer management job's wide open; I'd bet you'd look terrific in a red blazer...

Jim

Not a chance.

Baby, come on! Think of it! You know, you could do the Spanish speaking commercial. You'd become a celebrity!

Jim

I'm sorry, but I don't tap dance.

At least have dinner with me, huh? We could go to my place...

Jim

I'm sorry, Ruth, but I'm a little old-fashioned, you know. I, uh, I like to open the doors and light the cigarettes and make the passes.

[she takes her hand away] A-a-a-h, you're right! I'm sorry! There I go, again! I'm sorry, really...

Jim

[smiles again] Ah, it's okay...

[puts her arm around his shoulders] We'll go to your place.

Jim

[looking up at the seven-foot-tall goon next to him] Klaatu barada nikto!