Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
[at the Becker dinner table] You know the one animal I can't stand? Monkeys. I had one once. I only kept him for a couple of weeks. They make the place so smelly. Now you take cats. All you need is a litter box and that's it. Now that monkey, he made all over my new couch. He made all over my floor. You'd come through my door and find yourself up to your buns in ...
Broccoli?
Billy Skelly at EyeCo. Like to interest you in some new private detection equipment, including the 448 Telephonic Bug. We'll demonstrate it in a friend's home for one full week no charge.
I don't have superiors. I have few peers and no superiors.
Okay Jimbo, Dennis. I know you're in there and I know you know it's ticket season again; Policemen's Ball and all that. So come to the door when I knock this time. I know you're in there!
That number four you just picked up from Angelo's Pizzeria? Some scouring powder fell on there; don't eat it! Hey, I hope you try your phone machine before dinner...
Look, this guy actually lives in a trailer.
[indignant] Well what does that mean?
Well, it just seems to me that living in a trailer is at the bottom.
I live in a trailer!
Well, you know, not exactly the bottom, more like the middle. And of course, depending on what kind of trailer, it could be the upper middle. For instance I saw one in a magazine a couple of months ago. It could expand out into a two thousand foot home. Now a guy living in a place like that has the world by the...
Save yourself, son, it's not important.
You know, I've been thinking, Mr. Rockford, that if you want my opinion, we may be barking up the wrong tree.
[nursing his shot gun wound] We're sure getting some strong feedback from the wrong tree.
[Jim breaks into Tooley's office the second time and is caught by BJ and Smithy]
Where's Brockelman?
Oh, its not my turn to watch him.
I can see you're gonna keep us in stitches.
Now when I get up in the morning, I heard Ol' Uncle Willy's skillet cracklin' in there. I know he's cooking up some of this good Cripple Creek country sausage or bacon, boy it just gets my mouth-a-waterin' and starts my day off right. Now remember when you're in the market for Charlie Strayhorn's Cripple Creek Sausage or breakfast meat, then you're gonna rustle up your own good ol' country breakfast!
Who? Clement? Oh sure. Yeah, he's got more lines than a telephone company!
How do you like that? Your Cripple Creek sausages are being distributed by a Chinese noodle company. That oughta knock the old down home country image right in the head.
[Jim is picking a lock]
What are you doing? That's illegal!
Rita, on my best day I'm borderline.
Speaking of money, Rita, you never really did explain what happened to the money Maggie left you.
Oh yeah, well I'm not going to say that I should've known better, right? You're not going to give me the static? And I'm not going to hear about it from you for the rest of my life... it was this guy...
Rita...
Yeah, but, Jim, I had such a good time spending it!
How could you spend $300,000.00?
Boy, you never give up! You know that? You think I know where the money went? I know where the money went.
Where?
All right! [she starts counting off her fingers] The new apartment. The furniture. The microwave. I told you about my friend Monica's teeth? I mean somebody had to do something about her teeth!
Whadja do? Have them gold-plated and set with her birthstone?
What about that salesman, whatever he is?
No, no, no, I think you're right about him. I think he is a salesman, and he's sweating. Which means he knows what's going on. Now if we could just find him...
How? We don't even know what he does.
He's carrying a hip joint around in his brief case. There's got to be distributors, manufacturer, reps for prosthetic devices. How many of those can there be in L.A.?
Want me to tell you?
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
