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S1 E15

Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15

“Unfinished Business” quotes from Criminal Minds

74,544 quotes · page 4192 of 4970

“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15

In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)

[Moxxie tries to aim at a picture of the target family with a crossbow, but he's shaking too much]

Moxxie, stop shakin'. You're gonna kill our only Hellhound.

[lounging back on the couch, holding the target picture up with one hand, browsing her phone with the other; sarcastically] Wow, I feel so loved here.

Just take a deep breath...[demonstrates an inhale] and let it out.

But...it's a family! Under what circumstances would we ever need to kill a human family?

I mean, if that's what the client wants...

Maybe like a shitty dad or [in a Don Corleone-like voice] a mob family. That's understandable. [normal voice] But to eradicate an entirely innocent, seemingly innocent, upper-middle class family bloodline?!

[after a look at the picture] Hey, you don't know they're innocent. This kid probably sets dogs on fire, maybe this girl gets off to bullying Australian kids online, and this guy? This guy definitely watches.

[to a departing Mrs. Mayberry] Bye, and don't worry - we'll get that skank in less than twenty-four hours, or your first kill is free!

When did we start implementing that deal?

When you set fire to my office in front of a CLIENT, YOU FUCKING DIPSHIT!!! Now someone PLEASE tell me that fancy book is still intact!

You mean our only ticket to the other side? [holds out the Grimoire] Yeah, got it.

[fawning] And that's why you're my favourite, Loony! You get a treat now. [holds out a dog biscuit]

Eww, stop. [Blitz tosses it in the air, catches it with his tongue and eats it] You're SO gross!

[flattered] Aww, stop it, I get enough of that from my therapist. Now let's go lick some ass!

[after creating a portal] The expression is "kick some ass", Blitz. [steps through it]

Mine's better. [follows her]

[follows them, groaning] Ohh, fuck...!

[after Moxxie fails to shoot the family] What the FUCK was that, Moxxie?!

MMox

[wheezes and gasps] I'm sorry! They just seemed so wholesome and happy... I panicked!

Oh, who the fuck is innocent, Moxxie?! From the moment of birth, you're already a parasite leechin' off your momma's tits! Get the FUCK over yourself, you baby-dicked PRICK--! [Martha shoots through the wall, injuring his arm] AHH! A new hole! 'SCATTER! [they run away]

[on the phone to Blitz] I was thinking, what if we worked out some kind of exchange? Favors for favors. Doesn't that sound... enticing?

[dodging Martha's gunshots] You gotta stop using your fancy-ass rich people talk, okay?! I'm tryin' to concentrate on not getting FUCKED IN MY "A"!

[Martha tries to burn Blitz and Millie at the stake]

MMartha

Satan! We return your filthy creatures to back to the pits of Hell! May the root of evil remain honoured as we continue thy work! [tosses her torch on the pyre, igniting a blaze]

[after a moment] Yeah, that's not exactly how it works, lady. Sorry, your fire doesn't really hurt us, but, I mean, I could fake it if that'll get your dick hard. [smirks and makes a crude gesture with his tail]

What's that you're listening to?

This song is called "My World Is Burning Down Around Me". It's by "Fuck You, Dad". [after a short pause] It's a band.

Oh. How charming...

[Stolas suggests that he and Octavia go to Loo-Loo Land]

I'd literally rather kill myself.

There we go! Anything but staying in this house. Now, I'll arrange our security.

Security for a theme park?

We're rich and we're hot. People want our money and our bodies.

Our money, maybe.

Speak for yourself, princess. Now I'm going to call the only man who can f[bleep]k me!

[cringing] What?!

[trying to cover it up] Who can protect me. Us! Being part of the Goetia family is rather valuable, you know. [Octavia groans]

I have a question.

LLLoo Loo Mascot

Well, ask away, little girlie! A-hyuk a-hyuk a-hyuk!

Is it true this park is just a really shameless spin-off of Lucifer's far more popular Lu Lu World?

LLLoo Loo

... No?

This place reeks of insecure corporate shame.

[Robo-Fizz calls him out] Bitch, I make more money killing people than you do being a cheap-ass robo-ripoff of an overrated sell-out JESTER!

RFRobo-Fizz

Oooh, [glitches as he says this] someone's salty! Real or not, though, people looove me! Does anybody looove you, Blitzo?

No. But I'm really good with guns now! [loads his assault rifle with a new magazine] Dance, bitch!

[to someone who takes his parking spot] Oh, you "Suck 4 Life", do ya?! [pulls out a megaphone] Listen up, you unoriginal pink cum-dump! You've got exactly three seconds to get the fuck out of my spot or, [he realizes that the driver is his ex girlfriend, Verosika Mayday] Oh, SHIT! Verosika?!

VVerosika

Blitzo.

I should have known you'd be here. I can smell fish for miles, which is odd, because I believe the nearest ocean is THREE RINGS DOWN!

VVerosika

And I should have known you'd be here when I heard the Amber Alerts.

[regarding Verosika; quietly] Ugh, I wasted so much time with a bag of holes like that.

[from the van] You know Verosika Mayday?!

Huh? Oh, yeah, her. Yeah, we dated.

[popping out of the van with Moxxie] Was that before or after she became a pop star?

You dated a pop star?!

Okay, why are you all acting like that's such a shock?

Hello, it's Verosika Mayday?

It's you?

I just... Is she blind? Suffering some form of brain damage?

Okay, look, you are all making this into a way bigger deal than it needs to be. I don't pry into your stupid personal lives.

YOU DO THAT ALL THE TIME, SIR!

Come on, you kinda do that.

You totally do that.

[grinning naughtily] What was sex with her like?

[taken aback] Millie!

What?! It's a pop star! You'd wanna know what sex with Michael Crawford was like!

... Touché.

Hey, is there a way I can come with you guys this time?

Absolutely not, I forbid it. Not gonna happen. Sorry, sweetie, spring break is no place for young vulnerable goth girls. You know the kind of FREAKS up there who'd drool all over you!

[Blitz, Loona, Moxxie and Millie all give the camera disapproving looks]

FUCK, BLITZ!!! WHY CAN'TYOU STAY OUT OF MY FACE FOR LIKE 5 MINUTES?!!

Because I adopted you! And that should mean something!

Oh, what does it matter?! You’re not my real dad! I was almost eighteen!

It still counts!

Well, it shouldn't! I didn't need you then, asshole! I don't now!

[Loona is talking with Verosika's hellhound, Vortex]

Am I interrupting something here?

TTex

[calmly] Nah, man. Just a conversation.

Conversation leads to HPV!

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