What's this horsey thing again?
CComputer
It's a knight.
Can I move here?
CComputer
No!
King me!
CComputer
THERE IS NO "KING ME" IN CHESS!
[plays with pieces] Look at me! I'm a martian!
[Computer self-destructs]
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Mmm. Frosted Sugar Bits. The great taste of frosted sugar in bits.
BBunny
I'm installing a V-chip to screen out all the mindless garbage...before it rots your brain!
Mindless garbage not rot brain.
Some people look at Jerky and say "Why"? Me, I look at Jerky and I say Mmm! Jerky!
Four feet good! Two feet bad!
Bad baby! Stop defying the laws of physics!
I was never in Detroit, I don't know anything about a missing shipment of exotic sea turtles.
Hey! 16th place! That's not bad!
There were only 12 contestants.
Oh yeah! Who's the fairy, who's the fairy?! [Dances then quickly stops] You didn't see that, did you?
Oh, you are Fidel Castro
LPLuke Perry
Eh, no Luke Perry
Right, What did I say?
LPLuke Perry
Hey, look I have to go
No wait I am your biggest fan. I based all my life in you and all the cast of Baywatch
LPLuke Perry
Don't you mean 90210
Ah, Luke Perry
I am investigating the disappearance of all the cats in the city... my living room is full of cats... that means... [pause] I'm hungry!
[Johnny is screaming]
MMama
Johnny! What's all the commotion?
I got a toothache, mama.
[eating ice cream with a toothache] Chomp, chomp, chomp, AAH! MY TOOTH! THE PAIN! THE HORRIBLE PAIN! Mmm, creamy! Chomp, Chomp, Chomp, AAH! THE STABBING KNIVES OF PAIN! Hey! It's got nuts in it!
MMama
Johnny, have you been taking good care of your teeth?
Yes, mama. I've been brushing everyday with this baking soda and peroxide. [holds up jar]
MMama
Johnny, this isn't baking soda and peroxide, its cane sugar and molasses.
To-may-to, To-mah-to.
MONSTERS FROM THE ID!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.