Criminal Minds · Season 1, Episode 15
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
May I help you, sir?
Table for two, please.
I'm sorry, sir. We only serve humans.
Wait a minute! Aren't you Mike Stevens?
Why, yes.
You went to college with my father.
Oh my gosh! Carol? Oh, wow! I didn't even recognize you. Oh my goodness! You've gotten so big.
You say that to all of the antelope. You look great, Mike.
Would you eat them with a fox?
If the fox were Courtney Cox. But since that is not the case, get that stuff away from my face.
That's it, kid! I've had enough! I'm really sick of all this stuff! I don't want cookies, can't ya see? Now get your stuff away from me! I will not buy them, not one box. I will not eat them with a fox. I will not buy a peanut swirl. I will not buy it, little girl. I will not eat them on a boat, with a goat, or in a coat. You drive me nuts! It's really true! I've really had enough of you. You've got until the count of 3 to go away and let me be. 1-
I may be late honey, but I'm looking good.
[King Raymond isn't happy to receive a lump of coal]
Sorry, Magilla. Just following orders.
[while playing pin the tail on the donkey] This is so much fun I can't remember the last time I was blindfolded. Oh wait... yes I can! [giggles]
[Andy passes a surfboard to Johnny]
What am I supposed to do with this?
You're supposed to jazz the glass.
Nuh-uh, man, that sound nasty.
No, no, what kind of square are you? Smooth the curl!
No way, kid, I ain't smoothing no curl. This hair is my crowning glory! Hyah!
No, no! Trip the wave fantastic!
Come again?
Surf, daddy-o! Surf!
Oh...
The Beach is that way. [Holds up arm and points to show off his muscles]
Give me two tickets, please.
No pets allowed.
She ain't no pet. She's a werewolf.
A werewolf? [screams and flees]
I guess that means we don't have to pay.
My name is Lois - a mistress of the night. [Thunder lighting]
My name is Johnny - a Mister of the Universe. A popular girl like you is going to need some wooing.
Wooing? I haven't been wooed in millennia.
[to Talky Tabitha] Now listen Raggedy Evil! You better stop. [Talky Tabitha throws Johnny against the wall]
Now, Johnny, I'm going to teach you how to sing!
I'm gonna teach you how to shut up.
Cool! It'll be like a trade!
What's up with the cable?
Cable? What is this cable, sire?
Look, Mommy! That guy's looking at pictures of almost naked men!
[the whole store stares at Johnny]
This is a men's fitness magazine, I want to look like this, not at this... I've got nothin' to be ashamed of!
[walks up to cashier ashamed, and drops change on the counter]
...TV Guide.
[Johnny and Carl crash on a deserted island and are separated] Guess Carl didn't make it. I'll miss the little fella. [pause] Oh, well. Can't mourn forever!
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.
