There’s been a study by the RSPCA at Sydney University, they found that whipping does not have the effect of horsing a speed up... uh, speeding a horse up.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
What is Australia's deadliest animal?
Oh! Rupert Murdoch!
What would be the best way for Tarzan to get around the jungle?
He gets around by swimming, and swinging on, what does he swing on, Greg?
GPGreg Proops
Vines?
Whoa!
[Forfeit klaxon goes off - SWINGING ON VINES]
[points to Alan] You trapped him! Oh, Alan, you wicked, wicked - that was diabolical.
I feel really good tonight. I think I’ve finally nailed this game.
I’m going to show you another animal, it’s a common blue butterfly, that has been described by the famous naturalist Geoffrey Grigson as having a particular smell.
Finger of fudge.
Yes!
What?!
Unbelievable! I mean, I’ve got to accept that because the answer is chocolate. That is amazing.
What lives underwater and is the loudest creature for its size? [Greg buzzes in] Greg Proops?
GPGreg Proops
Oprah.
Good answer, but untrue.
Is it gonna be the blue whale?
[Forfeit klaxon goes off - BLUE WHALE]
What about when we went scuba diving and your mask was too tight?
Oh. Oh, yeah, I don’t...
His eyes nearly came out of his head!
[Bill shakes his head.]
They were inside the mask... these massive eyes! We’re all going, “look at Bill! Check he’s alright. Check he’s alright.” And when we found out he was alright, I laughed, I laughed my head off!
No, no, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Rewind! Rewind. Can we just go back to the it where you said, “when you checked we were alright you laughed your head off.” You were laughing from the minute my face came out of the water. There was blood pouring out of my eyes.
You had no idea. You had no idea at all.
I had no idea. I was going, “what?” and people were going, “oh my god!”
[Alan points and screams.]
Oh my god!” And I went, “what? What?” Like Carrie or something, with blood streaming from my eyes.
It took quite a long time for them to recede as well.
Yes, it did. And a lot of laughing was going on.
I thought you had some sort of magnifying mask on, but when you took the mask off they were still enormous!
What are the rules of sodomy?
It's...erm...um...eye-wateringly complex.
I used to work at the Crown Court in Manchester, as a...erm...the accused.
[What reality show format did Charlemagne’s father invent?]
RDRhys Darby
Ordeal or no Ordeal.
[After an episode of penis jokes at Alan Davies' expense.]
I don’t believe it, ladies and gentlemen, with a towering five inches, I mean, sorry, five points, Alan Davies!
Ada Lovelace was the daughter of...?
Mr Software.
[Stephen drops his face into his hands.]
What would be the best planet to take your annual holiday on? Yes?
Earth.
Absolutely the right answer, I can frankly say. I don’t think there could be a better answer.
Well, the great advantage of earth is that you can survive on it.
Yes.
So lovely on a holiday, isn’t it? To just live through it.
Amazingly and finally, there is no minus score. Wow.
[The audience ooos appreciatively.]
In first place...
[Alan laughs.]
Patronising bastards. I’ve had points before.
Where did Beethoven put his 'Jingling Jolly'?
Mrs. Beethoven?
Do you know what tinsel is? Mirrors for snakes.
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