You spray or apply furniture polish to a radiator, and it fills the room with the smell of furniture polish. These hints are either from a book called Trade Secrets by Katherine Lapworth and Alexandra Fraser, or from Superhints by the Lady...
I clean my knives in a crossbow. Some people say it's foolish. I put them in the hoover and set it on blow, and then shoot them and trap them around the kitchen, as I sit with a plug, bare-wired, at my feet, peeing on it! Gives it a better clean...
The door handle kept turning like that. Turning and turning and turning, and I couldn’t get into the loo. And I really needed to go. So I kicked the door in. And it’s the only time I’ve ever kicked a door in. Brilliant! It was a really cheap, flimsy door, and it smashed, like that, and it exploded, and the door bit fell down, and there was wood everywhere, and I burst in, and [smiling triumphantly] had a crap.
Mithras was a saviour sent to Earth to live as a mortal, through whom it was possible for sinners to be reborn into immortal life; he died for our sins but came back to life the following Sunday; he was born of a virgin on December 25th in a manger or, perhaps, a cave, attended by shepherds, and became known as The Light of the World; he had twelve disciples with whom he shared a last meal before dying; his devotees symbolically consumed the flesh and blood of him. Because Mithras was a sun god he was worshipped on Sundays...
There are dozens of religions in world mythology that have visits by wise men, kings who killed children to stop the new king from being born. There's a great deal in Christianity that's traditional. And however wonderful people think the story is, it's frankly not original.
[explaining how to pour Guinness correctly] Five-twelfths of an inch is the ideal head around the top, and if somebody paints a shamrock into it, you're allowed to stab them in the eye with a fork.
I do remember once going out with a lady who was raised atheist, and an utter chore to walk around the gallery with. They go, 'who's the guy on the sticks? Is he the same guy who was in the shed earlier on?'
