JCJackie Clune
It is actually possible for the ball sack to be stretched beyond recognition.
By a woman scorned?
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
I know that the stingray sucks food up from the sea bed.
Yeah, it’s more of a fish than an insect.
It can locate and suck up food from a foot below the surface of the sea bed.
It’s what we in the gay community call a bottom feeder.
Can I be in the gay community?
Oh, very well.
Can I be an arthropod and in the gay community?
It’s a specialist area, but I’m sure there are many websites devoted to it.
The gay arthropods.
The gay arthropods.
[Randomly, during a question as to whether banana plants are trees]
They walk.
I'm sorry?
Banana plants, whatever they're called, walk.
Nurse, nurse, he's out of bed again.
...they do, they walk. I travelled to Colombia and went to a banana plantation and I was admiring this banana tree said "hold on a minute, what about this patch next to the tree and the man said "the banana trees they walk".
[After 15 seconds...]
The intelligent voices in my head tell me you're absolutely right Sean, they do walk! They walk up to 40 centimetres in a lifetime.
You should read the books.
I don’t have time to read the books. I haven’t read all yours yet.
It’s full of interesting stuff. For instance, Bond has these strange ideas, he has this idea that homosexuals can’t whistle, for example.
Its cos they’ve got cock in their mouth.
[Stephen drops his head to the desk.]
I want you to go and stand in the corner.
If a lion mates with a tiger, you get a …?
Scandal.
Can I just say something that's very strange? Because there's some German chewing gum called Spunk, and, um, you do have to be careful you don't swallow it—but in fact, I actually talked about that chewing gum on Clive James's show with you [pointing at Stephen] and Princess Diana! Do you remember? Seriously!
[wearily] That was a dream. You've got to sort these out.
Who are the Lords of Shouting?
Jo Brand and Alan Davies: [hitting their buzzers] WE ARE!
Thatcher's grave is going to be a permanent urinal to all decent people, isn't it?
How do hedgehogs make love?
Carefully!
[Forfeit klaxon goes off - CAREFULLY]
What's long and pink and hard in the morning? Answer - The Financial Times crossword.
An old lady gave me a Kit Kat recently, and it tasted exactly like old lady’s cupboards. And I looked on the sell by date and it was 1998.
Oh, bless.
DGDave Gorman
Are you using the phrase ‘old lady’s cupboards’ in any kind of euphemistic sense?
[Discussing the airport luggage codes that would cause you to have MAD BAD FAT SAD OLD GIT on your suitcase]
… which means they would in fact have recently visited Madrid, which is "MAD" … Bossy-er City, Louisiana …
Oh!
… which is "BAD"—you're from Louisiana, aren't you?
It's called Bossier City. [He pronounces it "Bojer".]
Bossier! I beg its appallingly insignificant pardon.
PSPeter Serafinowicz
I never saw American History X, because I didn't see any of the first nine.
There’s a little bit of Alan in me. Is there any Alan in you?
No. No.
Do you want some?
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