Pluto and Bangkok don’t exist. I’m scared to go out.
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Is gay whispers like Chinese whispers
Much more fun, I assure you, much more fun.
Holmes was retired by this point, and was keeping bees on the Sussex Downs.
Against their will?
What begins with A, has six Cs, and no Bs?
Is it the Welsh alphabet?
I’ve got that in my pond, I get rid of it.
No. Think about how many people you kill by doing that. You might just as well go around with a pillow and just clamp them to old lady’s faces. You bastard.
What is the most boring place in Britain?
Is it the Big Brother House?
Charlton Heston played Michelangelo?
Yes, you know, and—
The effete Italian homosexual?
Yes, that's the one, he was not effete—
Played by the president of the gun club?
He was an athletic Italian homosexual-
I thought he was a wussy one!
He may well have preferred man-on-man action, that doesn't mean he was Julian Clary! He was butch, like me!
Welcome to QI, the closest modern equivalent to Lions versus Christians.
And Alan goes...
[Alan hits his buzzer, and the klaxon goes off, flashing ‘hopeless’ behind him.]
Minus 10 to Alan already before we’ve even begun our first round.
How do otters kill crocodiles?
Softly with their songs.
[Danny Baker has related a theory that states if a person can lick their own elbow, then they will be immortal.]
But isn't that how socialism was invented, that someone said, "Come, let us lick each other's elbows"?
The fourth largest navy in the world, if one goes by boats alone? Disney. Disney has the fourth largest flotilla in the world.
Good God. They'll be making films next!
How do you spell ribbit? Oh, like that.
That’s apparently how you spell it.
No, that’s rabbit in New Zealand.
JCJackie Clune
I have an Australian girlfriend who has two vaginas. She went to have a smear test and the doctor said, "Well, I've got some good news and some bad news. You've got some precancerous cells, but they're only in one of your vaginas." She says, "Oh, I've been saving the other one for that special man."
You could call the American Indians, or Native Americans, you could call them Aboriginals if you wanted.
You could. But it’s more fun to call them redskins.
Yes. I wouldn’t try it though, in America.
No.
You’d have your balls turned into a small purse.
A very big purse, I think you’ll find.
What am I thinking?
I’ll have my balls turned into a rucksack.
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