Hey, that's my apartment! What are the neighbors gonna think when some creepy weird dude shows up?
I don't know. What'd they think when you moved in?
“Unfinished Business” · Season 1, Episode 15
In this episode: Dean Winchester (940), Damon Salvatore (715), Sam Winchester (665), Olivia Benson (637), Stephen Fry (608), Narrator (554), Clark Kent (523), Nate (486)
Back in Cuba, there were no pedophiles trying to molest you. If an old man had his hand down your pants, it was because he was looking for food!
Why would you carry around food in your pants? Why not just use a brown paper bag?
And leave my father without a briefcase? I don't think so.
Mom's planning a big wedding, so Dad is doing the cooking and laundry. That's why I'm hungry and going commando.
A stressed out bride is nothing. At the factory, I work with ex-cons, substance abusers and sexual harassers. And I'm not just talking about my mom, there's other people like that there too.
Ernie [when he sees George making wedding invitations] How long have you been at this?
Six hours. Would've been done faster, but every five minutes or so, I have to look down at my pants to remind myself I'm still a man.
[about George] Angie, he cheated me. I should have won. I had the highest numbers.
Is that true? Did she have the highest numbers?
Look, she's been cheating on her time card for years.
What does that have to do with this contest? I did the work.
Well, whoever did the most work should win. I mean, George, you have to be a man of your word.
Why? She's never been a man of her word.
Benny [as she seeks revenge for the Reno trip]: No. It's not over. You screwed me, now I'm going to get you. It's payback time.
What are you going to do, raise me again?
[to Benny] You never taught me anything. You just punished me. I wasn't "Hooked on Phonics." I was hooked to a radiator.
I just got my letter from Northern Vermont, but I'm afraid to open it. This is my last shot, Mom. Not just for an education, for freedom. I can't party and pierce things in this house. I need to go away.
Angie (to George about her being pregnant): Well, Brad, I might be giving you what Jennifer wouldn't.
A Cambodian kid?!
NO! I might be pregnant.
What? Oh, hell no. HELL NO! You better hope Brad and Angelina want another Mexican boy for their collection because I'm not raising another one!
George (to Ernie): Why didn't you tell me they were moving the factory?
I left you a message.
Dude, I don't listen to your messages anymore.
Why?
Dude, you call me every time you see a hot girl on the freeway. Then, you take up 5 minutes of my voice mail saying "George, George, George!"
George (after the cops said they just wanted to question Benny but arrested her on sight): Hey, you lied to me! That's why nobody likes cops. You never see a fireman saying "Jump" and then he takes away the trampoline thing!
Vic (to Angie): I thought you said your pregnancy was a false alarm?
It was. But I saw how excited George was that I didn't have the heart to tell him.
So, what are you gonna do nine months from now? Wrap a basketball in a blanket and say "Look, he's got your head?"
[After George is refusing to sleep with Angie]
I don't know what's wrong with you, but you've been avoiding me all day. Now get upstairs! We're doing this, Alice!
Angie, we'll deal with your screwed-up family later. Right now, we need to get to the jail for my mom's birthday party.
These quotes come from Wikiquote's Criminal Minds pages and are available under the Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike License.